He’s jobless — do you date him?

At first it seemed like the holiday party Sara and I went to Saturday night was going to be like most of the other ones we’d been to; either too many couples who wanted to talk about their kids (and the handful of hubbies who’d hit on you anyway) or one hot guy and eight fake-boobed babes hanging all over him, or a few single guys who, sadly, were either overweight Bud-swilling jocks, players or bores. So we were prepared for the usual when in walked Mr. Adorable.

“Ooh, let’s get a good spot to watch the babes cling to him like flypaper,” Sara said, popping two garlic-stuffed olives in her mouth.

“OK, but I do have to say that you just took yourself out of the running.”

She rolled her eyes and stuck out her pungent tongue at me as we looked at Mr. Adorable to see who’d approach him first; you could feel the estrogen energy buzzing all around the festive fresh greens-draped room.

So I was totally  surprised when I came out of the bathroom about 15 minutes later and saw Sara and Mr. Adorable getting along quite nicely. In fact, I didn’t get a chance to talk to her all night until we walked to her car to head home.

“All right, missy, what’s his story?”

“He’s a totally cool guy. And so cute!”

“Yeah, I noticed the cute. So did every other woman in the room. So?”

“So I like him and he     likes me I guess
because he asked for
my number and wants
to get together. But, I don’t know …”

“What do you mean,
you don’t know? He’s cute, he’s cool and he’s into you even though
you were popping garlic olives all night long; are you feeling OK?”

“He’s unemployed.”

“So?”

“So, he’s been unemployed
for a year and he’s 54 the chance of him finding a job are almost impossible.”

“But, what does that have to do with anything?”

“Kat, I can barely afford to keep myself afloat — why would I want to get involved with someone who’ll be unable to contribute, even if we go 50-50?”

Sara had a point I guess.

As if dating as a middle-aged parent isn’t hard enough, the recession has been yet another big buzz kill for the dating scene.

How can you even focus on dating when you’re stressed out over losing a job and trying to find a new one?

I know women get a bad rap for only wanting to be with men who make the big bucks. OK, many woman are like that. But, we don’t care about those kind of women, right? There are always women who date and marry artists, actors, writers, teachers — people who don’t make a lot of money and who may never make a lot of money.

So, what’s the difference? Especially if we gals are working, not looking to make babies and already have a place we call home.

Well, enlightened society or not, we still believe men should be bringing home the bacon and a guy in a low-paid job is still employed; an unemployed guy is, well, unemployed. And in this economy, that may mean more than it used to in the past, when you could find anew job relatively quickly.

It isn’t fair, really, because I’m not sure guys feel the same way about unemployed women; guys probably think an unemployed woman’s totally dateable, especially if they’re hotties. They might, however, feel differently if a woman lives a lifestyle a la Carrie Bradshaw but doesn’t make much money; in other words, a shopaholic with huge debt and bad credit ratings.

Until the economy turns around, singles are going to be struggling with this so we might have to rethink who’s dateable and who isn’t. If nothing else, an unemployed guy has lots of time to think about, call and be with you!

• Would you date an unemployed man?
• An unemployed woman?
• If you’re unemployed, how do you talk about that on a date? Or, do you even bother?

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