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Dec 31

Stripping down my New Year’s Eve

Posted on Thursday, December 31, 2009 in Happiness, Relationships, Sex/sexuality, teens/teenagers

“I can’t decide what to do,” Sara says, calling me when I’m crazy-busy at work as if I have nothing else to do but solve her dilemmas. Sara calls me more than my mother, Sean and The Kid combined.

I’m starting to worry; it’s dysfunctional.

Still, I fall for the bait. Lemmings to the sea and whatnot. “Do about
what
?” new year

“New Year’s.”

“Girlfriend, I think you might be a little late on that one. It’s, like, happening in 40 hours. Realistically, what are your options at this point?”

“A party — I’ve already RSVP’d I’m coming so it’s totally OK — or stay home and watch that new Brad Pitt movie, you know the one.”

“I’m not a good one to ask on this because I never go out on New Year’s.”

“Excuse me. I distinctly remember times when you not only went out
but put out.”

Sara’s my age. I’m already suffering memory loss; why isn’t she?

“Stay home,” I say, politely ignoring her. “New Year’s is amateur night.”

“But, I’ll be alone!”

“Oh, for crap’s sake! Then go to the friggin’ party.”

“But it will be all couples, and you know how couples can be. It’ll be totally boring.”

“Then French kiss one of the hot hubbies after you’ve knocked back a few glasses. Cause a scene. You’re good at that.”

“Well, if nothing else, I’ll at least have a good story to tell at the next party.”

Exactly; a smart woman must always have a few entertaining stories up her sleeve. Plus, a whiff of scandal.

Still, I am not a New Year’s Eve woo-woo fan. I used to be, back in the days when I was a party girl. Staying home was not an option. But I can’t ever remember a New Year’s that lived up to the hype. Not the fancy dinner at “the” restaurant, not the one at the fancy hotel, not the swanky discos, not the intimate dinner parties at my house, not the party when we all got naked (OK, well that wasn’t so bad). There’s always some sort of forced fun, even when there’s genuine fun.

My first real New Year’s disappointment was when I was 16. I was at a party with my boyfriend and all our friends were there, plus there was booze and other things. Then, about 11 p.m, he pulled me aside and said, “Let’s go home.”

You’re kidding. The party hasn’t even started yet!”

“I want to be screwing when it’s midnight.”

And so that’s how that New Year’s Eve went. Not that I have any problem with being naked in bed with a dick in me at midnight — or any other time — but I was still under the impression that New Year’s had to be really special back then.

As if that wasn’t somehow special …

Still, I was disappointed; We could screw any day of the year, but it was only New Yera’s Eve once a year. And because I was young and inexperienced in such things, I ended up giving him a courtesy fuck.

Now, I know better.

So, this year, despite all the New Year’s Eve shenanigans, I’ll be kissing off the aughts by trying to regain my youth — being naked in bed with a dick in me at midnight.

And you?

Happy New Year!