RSS Feed
Jan 12

Has Kat turned on, tuned in or dropped out?

Posted on Thursday, January 12, 2012 in Happiness, Honesty, Kat, Relationships

Remember that saying, “Turn on, tune in, drop out”? No? OK, well, you obviously aren’t as old as I am! It’s what the hippies used to say, thanks to Timothy Leary, when they were looking for an excuse to smoke dope reach enlightenment and detach from commitments. 

Don’t worry — I’m not smoking dope (well, maybe an extra glass or two of zin), but I have been detaching from some commitments, thus my lack of an appearance here for the past few weeks, as you’ve probably noticed.

I wish I could say some sort of enlightenment has been reached, but no, not yet. I’m working on it though! Enlightenment is harder than it seems.

Luckily it’s a new year, and while I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions, I have made a promise to be a better Kat than I have been (no, not that way; I’ll still be a naughty kitty!), meaning I hope to write more inspired blogs. I feel like I’ve hit a dead-end of sorts. You’ve probably noticed. But you’ve been kind enough to let it slide — thank you.

So, if you can bear with me while I get closer to that enlightenment, I’d greatly appreciate it.

(Although, perhaps I should reconsider that dope …)

But, enough about me — how’s your new year going?

 

 

Nov 15

Kat Von D, my turkey and believing we’re different

Posted on Tuesday, November 15, 2011 in Affairs/infidelity, Celebrities, Honesty, Kat, love, Relationships

I’m not sure why this somehow didn’t register with me before, but yesterday is when I realized for the first time that Thanksgiving is next week. Which meant I had to order a turkey — ASAP.

Holidays like Thanksgiving, where there are certain culinary expectations, means you have to detailed plans; what gets picked up when, what gets cooked first, etc. No one wants to deal with the crowds at the supermarket on the day before, so I ordered mine to be picked up on Tuesday — as if I am the only person who would think of that. Somehow, I have a feeling Tuesday will be as crowded — if not more — than Wednesday. Too late.

People are funny that way; we are predictably irrational, as MIT professor Dan Ariely says. 

Which is what I think about tattoo artist Kat Von D’s reaction to the discovery that her ex-fiancee, Jesse James, cheated on her with 19 women in the past year of their on-again, off-again engagement.

Because given his history, you’d want to ask her, what were you thinking? Everyone else was thinking once a cheater, always a cheater.

Although, how many of us date or marry people who cheated on their spouse to be with us? Well, lots of us. What does that say about us?

Few people in online comments have been kind to Kat — in fact, most are downright cruel (of course, so many people aren’t kind in online comments, period!). If they aren’t shaming her, they’re asking, How could you think you were different than anyone else?

Beside the tats, that is.

But, of course we all feel like we’re different than everyone else to a certain extent or in certain situations: We’re never going to be the one who gets cancer, even though we smoke. We’re not going to get a DUI, even though we drive home after a three-martini happy hour. We don’t keep emergency supplies ready even though we live in quake-ridden Bay Area and The Big One is due. And we’ll avoid the crowds at Thanksgiving by picking up our turkey on Tuesday, not Wednesday.

Are we stupid? In denial? Irrational? All of the above and more?

I do not totally convinced of the adage “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” Depending on what drove a person to cheat, I think some people can change; I did.

I am pretty sure we’re capable of cheating on someone we truly love.

I am positively certain that we rationalize a lot of our actions because we actually believe we are different than everyone else.

What about you?

Oh, and see you at the supermarket …

Nov 7

Fat athletes, skinny models and sexism

Posted on Monday, November 7, 2011 in Honesty, Kat, Relationships, Self image, Women

It’s really odd for me to be inside the house on a beautiful sunny fall day, like yesterday. It’s even weirder for me to be watching TV inside the house on a beautiful sunny fall day. But the 49ers were playing, and if you know what’s been going on with the Niners, you’ll understand.  

Plus, I was snuggled up next to Sean so even if you don’t know about the Niners, if you’re a woman, you’ll totally understand.

“Wow, those guys are friggin’ huge!” I said to him, noticing the size of the defense.

“They want them big.”

“But, that’s so unhealthy! Why are they so big?”

“Because no one’s going to get past them.”

“So, the teams are OK with that?”

“There’s a controversy around it, but yes, there’s pressure to supersize.”

Supersize? Guys who are 300 pounds are beyond supersize!

It’s amazing what people will do to their body for their career.

Like models. Despite some rumblings of rejecting the use of emaciated models on the runway awhile back, most models still are ridiculously skinny.

We hear a lot from women about the insanity of super-skinny models and how that affects girls — do men feel the same pressure about their body?

There seems to be some sexism going on.

OK, most men don’t need to pack 300 pounds to do their job well. But look at the covers of some men’s magazines and you’ll see what a man “should” like — broad-shouldered, narrow-waisted, totally ripped. Evidently, these images are now causing guys as much body image problems as women have. You just don’t hear too much about it.

Why do we, men and women, freak out about how female models have to starve to make it, women who are just “doing their job,” and not male athletes, who also have to put their bodies through intense modification to be successful?

If you’re packing 300 pounds you’re stressing your heart as much as a heroin-addict-like super-skinny model — either way, it’s just not healthy. But, as they say, it’s a living.

  • Should we be as upset about what males have to do to their body to succeed as we are about women?
  • Do guys feel pressured to be perfect from the impossibly perfect images on men’s magazine covers?