I’m not sure why this somehow didn’t register with me before, but yesterday is when I realized for the first time that Thanksgiving is next week. Which meant I had to order a turkey — ASAP.

Holidays like Thanksgiving, where there are certain culinary expectations, means you have to detailed plans; what gets picked up when, what gets cooked first, etc. No one wants to deal with the crowds at the supermarket on the day before, so I ordered mine to be picked up on Tuesday — as if I am the only person who would think of that. Somehow, I have a feeling Tuesday will be as crowded — if not more — than Wednesday. Too late.

People are funny that way; we are predictably irrational, as MIT professor Dan Ariely says. 

Which is what I think about tattoo artist Kat Von D’s reaction to the discovery that her ex-fiancee, Jesse James, cheated on her with 19 women in the past year of their on-again, off-again engagement.

Because given his history, you’d want to ask her, what were you thinking? Everyone else was thinking once a cheater, always a cheater.

Although, how many of us date or marry people who cheated on their spouse to be with us? Well, lots of us. What does that say about us?

Few people in online comments have been kind to Kat — in fact, most are downright cruel (of course, so many people aren’t kind in online comments, period!). If they aren’t shaming her, they’re asking, How could you think you were different than anyone else?

Beside the tats, that is.

But, of course we all feel like we’re different than everyone else to a certain extent or in certain situations: We’re never going to be the one who gets cancer, even though we smoke. We’re not going to get a DUI, even though we drive home after a three-martini happy hour. We don’t keep emergency supplies ready even though we live in quake-ridden Bay Area and The Big One is due. And we’ll avoid the crowds at Thanksgiving by picking up our turkey on Tuesday, not Wednesday.

Are we stupid? In denial? Irrational? All of the above and more?

I do not totally convinced of the adage “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” Depending on what drove a person to cheat, I think some people can change; I did.

I am pretty sure we’re capable of cheating on someone we truly love.

I am positively certain that we rationalize a lot of our actions because we actually believe we are different than everyone else.

What about you?

Oh, and see you at the supermarket …

This should probably go in the What Would Kat Do category, but since that page doesn’t allow comments (as if!), I decided to post it here.

A fan (and I still have problems with that; shall we just call him a reader) recently wrote to me, and after a few back and forths, he agreed to let me tell his story. It isn’t a happy one.

“Jay” is a 46-year-old man, fit (by his definition), kind (ditto), smart (ditto) and, self aware (and given the exchanges we’ve had I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt on that). Jay isn’t happy because his wife of 20-plus years — whom he loves and with whom he has kids with — is no longer interested in sex. The problem is, Jay is — very much so. In fact, he thinks about sex a lot, especially since it happens so infrequently. And he’s wondering at some point if women lose interest in sex entirely.

Good question, Jay. And the answer is … yes and no.

But, before I get ahead of myself. Let Jay put it in his own words:

Dear Kat:

I’ve been reading your blog for a while now a one thing I really appreciate is that you seem to be a woman who loves and enjoys sex.Boy , do I need to know that exists! It gives me hope that there are middle-aged women (and please don’t take that the wrong way) who still like sex.

The problem is, I’m a middle-aged man who enjoys sex, too — very much. But my wife doesn’t — although she did in our early years — and that has created a lot of stress in our marriage. I’m not ready to give up sex yet, but I can’t seem to get my wife to feel the same way. She’s just not interested in sex — in any variation— but I still am. And I’m attracted to her, even though she’s put on a few pounds; at 45, she looks good.

I asked her to go to couples counseling with me; she says we don’t need it (she suffers from depression, but doesn’t like the way meds make her feel). I asked her to talk to her doctor about it, but she says there’s nothing wrong with her. I’ve tried getting her to watch porn; intimate nights of just touch and cuddling; romancing with candlelight, soft music and her favorite food. I’ve done the “daddy porn” thing — cleaning the house, doing the laundry and taking the kids (11 and 14) out so she can have time alone. You name it, I’ve done it.

Not even a blowjob.

I’m not asking for crazy sex like the “rear door” (not that I’d mind); just the old missionary would be fine.

I don’t want to get a divorce, but short of having an affair , which I’m morally against, and pleasing myself (which I do, but it can only go so far), what can I do? It’s making me feel a little crazy. And very, very frustrated.

Signed: A normal sexual man.

Dear Jay:

Thanks for writing. Wow— that’s one of the saddest stories I’ve heard in a long time. But, you know, not all that uncommon. A lot of women lose interest in sex, but I just don’t understand that! What’s with you gals?

I can tell you that an affair isn’t going to make things better; oh, sure, it will be fun and exciting, but it won’t help your marriage.

But rather than me tell you what to do, Jay, I’ll let my readers — who are infinitely wiser than I am — offer their advice.

Readers, what say you?

“It just blows me away,” Sara said as we sat in her kitchen, mud packs on our faces,

“What blows you away?”

“That Tony could cheat on Eva. She’s gorgeous!”

“Being gorgeous has nothing to do with cheating, as you know. Remember, Rob cheated on me.”

I waited for her to get my joke, but she was too engrossed in her People magazine; we include trashy mags when we have our monthly DIY Facial Saturday just to get the full spa effect.

“Anyway, are you saying that it’s somehow
OK if someone cheats on a woman who’s
less than hot?”         

“No, of course not! It’s just that, I don’t get it.”

I don’t get it either, except I get this: it doesn’t matter how hot a woman is — and I would
guess that many men would put Eva Longoria
in the hot category. All relationships have
their troubles, and not everyone can handle them well.

And that’s when affairs can happen — if you
can call sexting cheating, which is all the San Antonio Spurs guard claims he did.

OK, well, whatever …

But it’s funny that we find affairs confounding when they happen to hot women — not only
Eva but Elizabeth Hurley and Shania Twain and Sandra Bullock and … The list goes on and on. Guess it makes us think, Well, if a guy could cheat on someone who looks like she does …

And then we start to worry; what hope can we Plain Janes possibly have?

Which, of course, fuels our fears about our looks, our weight, our wrinkles, our age …
when we really should looking at what kind of woman are we and how we treat our man. And, of course, if we’re a woman who loves sex (because most men do!). Because if we’re not giving it to him, happily and often …

But, shouldn’t we be just as upset if a man cheats on a Plain Jane? (and maybe even especially so in the case of someone like, say, Elizabeth Edwards — the woman had cancer, for God’s sake!)

When you think about it, why do we think being “hot” somehow magically turns our partner into someone who’ll be honest and faithful? Or that it makes for a loving, grounded sexual woman?

I don’t. Do you?

I’ve been thinking of Garrett lately.

Garrett, the guy I dated for a long time.

Garrett, the guy I thought I would marry.

Garrett, the guy I loved so much.

Garrett, the guy I cheated on.

I hadn’t thought of Garrett in a long time, but while watching the World Series (go Giants!) and seeing more of Ian Kinsler than I ever had before, I had an eerie feeling. Ian and Garrett look a lot alike  — probably not anymore, of course, because Ian’s 28 and Garrett’s a middle-aged man now, maybe even a bald and fat middle-aged man for all I know.

But, back then? He was tall and hunky and sweet and had a gorgeous smile and he loved me and … and I was sleeping with him!! Know how many girls would have loved to have slept with him? Pretty much everyone in college.

So, why did I cheat on him?

How can you cheat on someone
you love?     

It’s a question I’ve pondered quite a bit since doing the nasty deed.

That I cheated is always something that surprises me, like I didn’t even know I
had it in me, like, “Really? I did what?”

Another thing that surprises me still is how easy it was to cheat. There weren’t any cell phones or sexting or a lot of other technie gee-gaws that have since tripped
up many a man (women, too, probably,
but we tend to hear about the high-profile men). No, all I had was a phone (at work),
a guy I wanted to sleep with (and, since he pursued me, obviously wanted to sleep
with me) and a plan.

I always had a plan; If Garrett gets suspicious, who could I say I was with? What could I say I was doing? Where could I say I was?

It worked for about a year, and that’s when I ended the affair. Because I wasn’t in love with my paramour (ever notice there’s no 100 percent accurate name for the male equivalent of mistress?); I was just in love with having sex with him. It was exciting and dirty and I knew I shouldn’t be doing it, but I found a lot of ways to justify it.

And I still loved Garrett. At least, it felt that way.

But by the time the affair ended, I had made myself feel so bad about myself — What a horrible girlfriend I am! Garrett deserves someone so much better! — that Garrett and I were over, too. He never found out (or, if he did, he never said anything to me or anyone else).

Did I really love him, then?

Can you cheat on someone you truly love?

Sure, you can lust after someone and fantasize about him and still come home at night and tell your partner you love him — and mean it — and then bang him like crazy. Is that cheating? I don’t think so, but a lot of people  have some odd ideas about what “cheating” is.

But, if you act on that lust, knowing how much it would hurt him, knowing how it may irreparably damage your relationship (although some relationships can survive an affair, I suppose), knowing it could mean that he kisses your cheatin’ butt goodbye (and deservedly so!) … can you really, truly say you love him?

Unless, believing you’re not going to get caught means you’re not actually hurting him/her. Or, you think that it’s “just sex,” not “love” — whatever that means.

Now, I would never cheat on anyone ever again; although the thrill of an affair is undeniably intoxicating, the fallout is ugly and I just don’t want to be that kind of person anymore. Honesty and trust matter too much to me now; I want to give and receive that.

So, can you cheat on someone you truly love?

Have you?

photo © Andrius Grigaliunas – Fotolia.com

And, on a totally different note: I know it’s easy to get cynical, frustrated, angry and apathetic, but, people, your vote counts! Tomorrow’s Election Day. Please, vote as if your life depends on it, because it does!

“You know,” Sara to me as watched taped snippets of the Masters on the bar TV, “I’m kinda regaining a certain respect for Tiger.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“No, actually not.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re buying the spin at his press conference or that calculated Nike ad, are you?”

“Of course not! I just like the fact that he’s never ratted on Elin.”

“Meaning?”

“He protected her.”              

“You mean he denies that she hit him?”

“Right.”

“And that’s good?”

“Well …”

“What if she denied he hit her? Would that
be good?”

Sara was silent.

But I know what most of us would say — no,
that wouldn’t be OK. We wouldn’t believe her, anyway. We know men hit women.

But is it OK if a woman hits a man?

I am not a violent woman, or so I believed And yet, when I first discovered Rob’s affair, I absolutely lost it — just like I imagine Elin did. And I hit him. Not hard because, honestly, I didn’t even have the strength, I was crying so hard. But I wanted to hurt him — just like he’d hurt me.

It was the first — and last — time I hit a man, but it still scares the crap out of me to think I was able to do that. It was a “crime of passion” as so many relationship crimes are. Sadly, there’s often a gun in the house, too, and we all know where that leads. Still, I make no excuses for it; I did it, I have to live with it, I have learned from it.

But as a society we seem to be much more OK with a woman hitting a man than a man hitting a woman — why?

And why does it seem noble that a man would protect a woman, as Tiger supposedly is protecting Elin? Many men don’t want to admit that they’ve been abused; after all, they’re supposed to be the stronger sex. What would it feel like to admit that you’d been smacked by your 5-foot-2, 100-pound sweetie? That’s why many men don’t talk about it. That’s why you don’t see fundraisers for abused men shelters. But it doesn’t make it any less real.

If we’re seeking equality between the sexes, then abuse should be treated equally, no matter which sex is the one doing the hurting. A man protecting a woman wouldn’t be seen as a good thing, and we wouldn’t think, as most of us do, that a woman abusing a man means he somehow deserved it.

• Have you ever hit your partner?
• Have you ever been hit?
• Do you react differently if you see a woman abusing a man than the other way around?

More ramblings on abuse:

Who’s a better parent, a liar or an abuser?

“What would you do about Jesse?” Mia asked me as she, Sara and and I biked our way around the Headlands one last time before it was closed off for road work.

“You mean if I were Sandra?”

“No, I mean if you’d slept with him.”

“What are you getting at?” Sara asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

“Would you go to E! or TMZ and come out?”

“Oh, you mean kiss and tell? Absolutely not! I don’t know
why women do that,” I said.   

“Kat, you’re so naive. Can’t you figure it out?” Sara snapped.

I hate to sound naive, but, no I couldn’t quite grasp it. Let’s
see — I screw a married guy and then I’m going to blab
my story all over the news? Why? If anything, I’d want to lay really low. I mean, the last thing I’d want is for my mom and
dad — not to mention their neighbors, book club ladies and poker pals — to see me on the cover of People with this headline: “Woman No. 3: I made a mistake with Jesse.”

Sure, confession is good for the soul — but in public? I’d be
so embarrassed.

Does no one else feel like that anymore?

It’s no surprise that ex-wives of philanderers might want
to cash in on their misfortune, like Nicolas Sarkozy’s (most recent) ex and Dina Matos McGreevey. I guess that’s one way to set aside some college money for the kiddies.

But, really, you don’t even have to go through all the
hassle of getting married to get a book deal or modeling contract — you just have to sleep with a high-profile guy once or twice (or save the dress with the stain) and you’ll be a media darling for your 15 minutes. And, pocket a few thou to ease your heartbreak.

Why didn’t I think of that?

Here I’ve been, sleeping with guys for years and feeling pretty damn lucky if I got a glass of red wine, a shared plate of fried calamari and an orgasm out of it. I just didn’t see that it might a smart career move.

And it’s more than just that — it’s power. It’s a woman using her beauty, sexuality and charm to fell a man. Who says women can’t be as manipulative as guys?

I used to think that the rabbit scene in “Fatal Attraction” was a wake-up call for cheaters; now that seems almost refreshingly innocent compared with what happens if one of your babes decides to open her mouth. And, Glenn Close’s character didn’t get anything out of it, either — well, except death. If the movie came out now, she’d have an eight-page spread in Playboy.

And how come you don’t hear from any men who’ve been providing stud service (well, except for other men)? Still, I live in constant fear that one day I’ll turn on E! and see some hottie talking about his wild fling with a certain cartoon blogger …

None of this gets the cheaters off the hook; maybe this public confessional is just what they deserve.

But our obsession with fame at any cost, talent be damned — and what people are willing to do for it — makes me feel sad. On the other hand, I just may have discovered a fall-back plan if I ever get laid off  …

• Has kissing and telling gone too far?
• Or, do you feel that if everyone else is doing it, why not?
• Guys, does this make you nervous?
  

I feel bad for poor Sandra Bullock.

It’s bad enough that hubby Jesse James was busy engaging in extracurricular activities with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee while she was off filming her Oscar-winning performance in “The Blind Side” — and isn’t that a rather prescient title, given what’s happened? — but now everyone’s weighing in on whether Bullock should dump
him or try and patch up the marriage.  

Sound familiar? Just ask Elin, Elizabeth, Nilda, Hilary, Uma, Halle, Robin … (and, yeah, probably a lot of men, too — like, Guy).

Every woman in an adulterous high-profile marriage or relationship has been held up as a model of what to do or not for the rest of us. But, since we don’t live celebrity lifestyles, it’s silly to pay attention to what they do or not when their man is busted.

It comes down to what each of us would do.

Is infidelity reason enough to break up
a marriage? Can a marriage survive an affair — or affairs, like in the case of Tiger Woods?

That’s a question I had to ask myself.

Honestly, in the beginning, right after I absorbed the devastation, the anger, humiliation and fear, I said — yes. I decided I was going to do everything I could to save my marriage and my family. The Kid was young, and I was still convinced I was in love with Rob. I read Peggy Vaughan, I read “Divorce Busting,” I went to couples’ therapy, and I followed a workbook of exercises that were supposed to lead me toward forgiveness.

But as we got deeper into therapy and I listened to what he was saying and how I was really feeling, I realized that no matter what I thought and wanted and no matter how hard I was willing to work, Rob was who he was, and on a fundamental level, there was something in him that was always going to have a hard time with honesty.

Did I want to live with that?

Would I be able to trust that?

And then I had to admit to myself, no, I didn’t and I couldn’t.

A lot of marriages break up after an affair, but not all of them. Some couples are able, like a phoenix, to rise up out of the flames and transform into something stronger and better.

It’s easy to make a blanket statement — “If he ever cheated on me, I’d kick his sorry ass out” — but we never really know what we’re going to do until we’re in the moment. Sometimes, what we thought would destroy us makes us a better person and a better partner. Sometimes, we find a compassion and forgiveness we didn’t know we had. And other times, our liberal, loving and accepting ways are put to the test (and we have to accept, yeah, I’m not quite as liberal, loving and accepting as I thought I was!)

Could I stay with someone who abused me? Absolutely not! Could I stay with an alcoholic? If he got sober and stayed sober. Could I stay with someone who cheated on me? Maybe, depending …

I couldn’t with Rob, but maybe I could with someone else. But, crap — I sure hope I never have to decide.

• Where do you draw the line in a relationship?
• Have you ever drawn a line and crossed it anyway?
• And, have you ever regretted dumping someone who messed up but was fundamentally a “good” guy or gal?

Photo by Warner Bros.

We were long overdue for a gals’ night, so we gathered last week and found ourselves lined up at the bar at the Buckeye.

“Don’t look now, but isn’t that Scott?” Mia asked, jerking her head rhythmically  to the right.

“It sure is,” Sara said, her head whipping around to see the action in the booth behind us. “But that sure isn’t Liz.”

Liz being Scott’s wife.

“And, so?” I asked. “For all you girls know, it could be a business meeting, or his niece or a
friend who needs advice. Stop being so
suspicious!”  

They looked at me like I was one of those psycho women all exes seem to become to guys when they’re describing us to their
new love.

I know what it might look like, but looks can be deceiving. There were more than a few times when I was having dinner or cocktails with a male friend and some busybody walked by and assumed we were dating just because I’m a single woman with a guy.

But maybe Scott was cheating. Or maybe he was having dinner with a female co-worker and didn’t tell his wife about it; would that be cheating, too?

Cheating isn’t so black and white anymore.
It used to be if that you weren’t actually cheating unless there were body fluids and cigarettes in a cheap motel.

Now? Well, if you don’t have a dozen
mistresses coming out of the woodwork talking to the media, like Tiger, it’s a little fuzzier.

• Some women think a guy’s intense interest in porn is cheating.
• Some women think if their squeeze
  is always checking out other women, he’s cheating.
• Some women think if he’s sharing TMI (mostly about them) to another woman, he’s cheating.
• Some women think if he’s a flirt he’s cheating.
• Some women think sending dirty text messages is cheating.
• Some women think it’s cheating if their guy friends an ex on Facebook.
  

So, what is cheating?

I used to think it was fairly simple — a guy’s cheating if he’s shagging someone (and in all fairness, it could as just as easily be if she’s shagging someone; don’t mean to lay all the guilt on you guys. I know women are just as guilty as men).  But the Internet, IM, texting and Facebook have changed everything.

And, I’ve changed, too. My thoughts, that is.

I think someone’s cheating if whatever he’s doing is compromising the relationship because he’s not being honest about it. If a guy can’t tell his partner about something he’s doing and who he’s doing it with (an maybe in the case of watching porn, how often he’s doing it), then something’s wrong.

That doesn’t mean that we have to tell our partners everything; Lord knows her daily minutiae is boring enough without having to take on his, too. And it doesn’t mean he’s afraid to tell her because she’s going to get all bitchy about him having female friends or looking at an attractive woman walking by (or acknowledging that). That’s an insecure woman, which is a much bigger problem (and, ironically, one that may lead to a man cheating).

But if she starts asking you about your day or someone (nicely, of course), and you feel like you can’t quite tell her the truth or start getting defensive, I’d say there might be a wee bit of a problem.

When I discovered Rob’s affair, it wasn’t so much that he was screwing someone as the lies — whenever he looked me in the face, he wasn’t telling me the truth (although, I didn’t know that at that particular moment). That’s just not how people who say they love you treat you. That was hard to grasp.

So, what’s cheating to you?

Photo © Inger Anne Hulbækdal – Fotolia.com

“Are you a Marilyn or a Jackie O?” Sara asked me, dipping her pinkie into the guac and licking it off. We were snuggled on my couch for a gal’s night in.

“Is this like asking me if I’m a good witch or a bad witch? Last time I looked, I was still plain ol’ Kat.”

“Well, I was reading a blog about how you’re either a woman who exudes sex and drama, like Marilyn Monroe, or you’re the one guys want to mother their kids, the ones who have dinner ready, weekly missionary sex and manage everything so that he can succeed.
Like Jackie O. Those are your choices, Marilyn or Jackie. So,
who are you?” 

I hate those questions. They’re like the ones you get at a job interview — are you a better this or a better that? You just know there’s a catch. I want to be good at both — hell, I actually believe I am good at both! — so I fudge my answer and often end up messing up. There’s a trick to this game, and I still haven’t figured it out.

Still, I thought I pretty much had the sexpot-mother thing down. I never viewed it as a Marilyn-Jackie O. thing, though; it was always the Madonna-whore thing for me. You know — you’re a wild,
sexy party girl until you become a mom and then suddenly your hubby can only see you as a mom (and for a lot of women that’s all they identify with, too) and then he wants the whore back. Cue the affair.

Fine, but just look at all the Louboutin-strutting “whores” who are also “Madonnas” nowadays — starting with Madonna herself, then Angelina, Kate, Gwen, Gwyneth. Need I go on? These are women who are hot, hot, hot — and also happen to be moms. If Megan
Fox gets knocked up and becomes a mama, is any man in his right mind going to put her in the unfuckable category?

But, here’s the big but — that’s how we see them, given the whole celeb mommy porn thing. Their hubbies may feel differently because who’s to say what it’s like when you have a hottie at home — in her sweats, without her makeup, PMSing, breastfeeding the baby and thinking that adopting another tot might be a good career move?

Forget about Madonna/whore, Marilyn/Jackie O. — I think it comes down to women who like sex and women who don’t. That’s it. If a woman views herself as a sexual being, no matter if she’s single, married, a mother or whatever, she’s going to reek of sex.

Maybe it has less to do with how men view women, but more how women view themselves and their sexuality. Or maybe it has everything to do with our genes.

The Marilyn is all about, well, Marilyn. She fucks, and she knows she’s good at it so don’t try to make her do anything else but fuck. Marry that and, well, good luck.

Jackie O. is willing to give away so much of herself that she doesn’t even feel; she’s just bound by duty. Marry that and, well, good luck.

And any woman who becomes a mom and becomes so wrapped up in mommyhood that she forgets her sexual side and her role in keeping a marriage sexually alive (and packs on the pounds, and thinks granny panties and stretch waistband polyester pants are the next best thing to Oprah) is doomed to be a Madonna — and, most likely, a divorcee.

We don’t have to box ourselves in to being one of the above. We can be sexual Marilyns, Madonnas, whores and Jackie Os as long as we truly feel and act sexual because we like it and want it.

Or … am I just fudging and messing up again?

So, now it’s 2010 and I like New Year’s resolutions as much as I like New Year’s Eve.

Which means not very much.

But I’m all for self-improvement; I just don’t want to feel pressured about it or have it be somewhat artificial. I think it’s the kind of thing that needs to happen year-round, every year, lifelong.

Still, I went to the gym this weekend; it was packed, as you’d
expect, filled with people determined that “this will be the year I …” Like the two women on the treadmill next to me, vowing to workout three times a week to finally get fit.

Losing weight or getting in shape has got to be the
No. 1 New Year’s resolution. 

Not a bad one, if you have to make them, but if I had to pick just one resolution, it would be this: have more and better sex. Which you’d most likely have if you loved your body, whatever shape it’s in.

Nothing gets you out of the mood more than hating your body. And, you know, skinny women can hate their body, too, so it’s not just about weight (and a study a few years ago said fat women had more sex than skinny women. So there!)

I never hear men go on and on about their weight, although there might be some who do. But I’ve rarely heard a woman not obsess about it, even my size 2 friends! Now, it even has a name: Negative Body Obsession (NBO). OK, well we gals have a lot of pressure from the media that guys don’t necessarily have (unless they’re trying to look like a cover of Men’s Health, which looks
pretty damn hot, BTW), plus women are judged more on their beauty — and, of course, T&A.

I wonder what men think about women who are unhappy with their body or weight and complain about it … but never do anything about it. Or they’re constantly dieting and then gaining it right back.  I imagine most don’t want to bed a skeleton. And, although some, like Sean, are turned off by fat women (as I am by fat guys), there are plenty who are OK with — or actually prefer — BBW. I don’t think any of them want a women to start off as a, say size 6, and then balloon up to a 14, either.

You have to wonder how Marilyn Monroe, for a longtime the sexiest woman alive, would fare today. Would her voluptuousness be considered fat?

But I’m guessing more than anything, men want women to feel comfortable with their body so they can eat more than a salad (dressing on the side), get undressed in front of them, turn the lights on when having sex, and not worry so much about how fat they may or may not be so that they can actually enjoy sex!

Oh, yeah — and stop talking about it!

Because when women freak about their body, men suffer, too.

• So, guys, how do you feel when women go on and on about how unhappy they are with their body?
• And, how would you feel if your gal when from a size 4 or 6 to a 12 or 14, the average size for women nowadays?