What’s so sexy about a baby bump?
I was at a party a few weeks after I’d given birth to The Kid, happy not to be slave to the stretchy, flowing maternity clothes I had worn for months but not quite ready to fit back into my babe outfits, either. I settled for something that didn’t scream “Maternity!!!!!” but, still, not up to my usual standards. I was in that post-pregnancy physical gray zone that, unless I was actually holding the baby, could be misconstrued to be, “Wow — she looks like she’ll be popping out a baby any day now.”
It isn’t a happy zone.
So when someone at the party asked me when I was due, I was flustered (and then somewhat depressed) — “I gave birth almost three weeks ago!” I mumbled — but nowhere near as flustered as the person who asked. No one wants to get that pregnancy vs. fat thing wrong.
David Beckham noted how “amazing” wife Victoria looked — then nine months pregnant with their fourth child (she gave birth to a girl yesterday) — recently on his Facebook page. That is a pretty hot photo, but then again we all don’t all have a bod like Victoria’s.
But, is a baby bump all that sexy?
When women come upon a bulging belly, we love to ask all sorts of questions — Is it your first? Do you know the sex? — and then want to share their horror stories of delivery, nipple attachment, whatever. But we generally don’t think a pregnant woman is all that hot; we just commiserate. I don’t even know if guys pay much attention, assuming it’s not their own partner, that is.
I think the sexiest thing about being pregnant is what Beckham said — that his wife looks “amazing.” The daddy-to-be loving how mom-to-be looks? Now that’s hot!
- Are pregnant women sexy?
- If you’re a woman, did being pregnant make you feel feminine or just fat?
- If you’re a guy, did you like the way your partner looked when she was pregnant?
How do you decide who’s a slut and who isn’t?
It’s been so hot around here that when Sean and I were out for some pre-Fourth of July festivities, I couldn’t help but notice how skimpily many women were dressed. Most had no business being almost naked, if you know what I mean, but many looked pretty hot. Others in their super-tiny skirts or shorts and barely bust-containing tank tops looked, well, skanky.
Which made me wonder — can you identify a slut by how she dresses?
And, what is a slut, anyway? 
Last month, thousands of people all over the world hit the streets for SlutWalks after a Toronto cop said if gals stopped dressing like sluts we’d avoid being raped or victimized. I guess we shouldn’t flaunt our sexuality or we’ll be asking for it.
But, do our clothes alone make us sluts? I’ve seen some pretty trashy outfits on the runways of haute couture designers, but I doubt anyone would call the models wearing them sluts, whether on the catwalks or in some trendy restaurant.
We know what makes a guy a player. He’s a guy just in it for the sex with as many women as he can seduce, isn’t honest with the women he sleeps with and probably doesn’t have healthy relationships with women in general. Unfortunately, you can’t identify a player by his outfits — except maybe back in the ’70s when the unbuttoned shirts, thick mustaches and white poly suits made most who wore them look like B-level porn stars.
But it’s harder to agree on what makes a woman a slut. Clearly clothes and how many guys she’s slept with aren’t the only markers. Maybe it’s like what Justice Potter Stewart said about porn — it’s hard to define but you just know it when you see it. But, wouldn’t you have to know a little more than that?
- How do you decide who’s a slut or not?
- If you sleep with a slut, can you still call her a slut? Wouldn’t you be one, too?
Photo © dimis – Fotolia.com
Why you might want to date someone your age
My friend Patty, a 61-year-old divorcee, has a dilemma — a younger person is lusting after her. Younger meaning 52. OK, it’s a dilemma many of us middle-aged divorcees might kill for, but she’s concerned. And so she’s said, “No!”
What’s wrong with this scene? Right – nothing! Well, nothing as far as you and I and maybe hundreds (thousands? millions?) of others can see; what can possibly be wrong with a 52-year-old wanting to be in a relationship — yes, it’s not just about casual sex — with a woman nine years older? 
Patty’s not a cougar; in fact, she’s not the one pursuing (although people throw the “C” word around quite casually nowadays. All you have to do to be called a cougar is be 35-plus and single; not fair!). She really does want to date in her age group, give r take five years either way.
Plus nine years at midlife isn’t such a big deal.
Or is it? As she says:
“I don’t want to date someone younger because when I’m all wrinkled and sagging, I’ll be dumped and then where will I be? I’ll be older and less attractive, and it will be too late for me to find someone new.”
She may have a point. As I get older and the wrinkles and sags make their presence known, I know all too well how the slide from “She’s hot” to “She’s not” sucks. But, that’s if you’re still single and in the dating world, when just getting a guy to notice you is harder, let alone having him want to actually talk to you and discover your irresistible charm and wit, and then want to see you naked and do lovely nasty things to you.
If you’re in a committed relationship with someone, wrinkles and sags shouldn’t even matter anymore — because your partner’s probably right there with you!
Unless, of course, your partner’s nine years younger. Then you have a huge jump on the aging thing.
I wouldn’t want to be with someone who’d start looking at me differently — or start looking at other, younger, women, differently! — as I started to wrinkle and sag. If you’re doing to be in a relationship with someone much older, wrinkles and sags are to be expected!
But, maybe that’s something to consider before you get into a relationship with someone older. You can be picky about who you’re with, but if you start to lose interest in someone older than you because he or she is aging, that does make you seem shallow.
So is Patty smart to reject her young suitor (who’s a woman, by the way)? Or is she denying herself the potential of a loving partner?
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