“Sara, I am not doing Black Friday with you,” I said a little too loudly on my phone as I walked Roxy.
“Oh, c’mon. It will be fun!”
“Getting up at 3 a.m. is not my idea of fun, unless Sean’s poking me and even then …”
“But you love shopping, Kat.”
“I don’t love it, but, yeah, I like me a good shopping ‘experience’ like any other woman, just not with hundreds of crazed shoppers around me. Anyway, I’m going small this year with the gifts.”
“Well, I need to get Todd something, and I have no idea what to get and how much to spend.”
“It will be near impossible to make a rational decision fighting the hordes half-asleep.”
“You’re right. OK, but … what do I get him?”
I’m a pretty good gift giver — I think. I listen throughout the year for the “I wish” and “I’d love to get,” and if it hasn’t been bought by year’s end that’s likely what Sean, my kids or my parents will find under the tree. Although I still think the best gifts are the ones you give throughout the year “just because,” not just it’s expected of you. The holidays make everybody crazy.
But when you’ve got a new love? I’m just as stumped as Sara is because you’re still learning about him or her. Until you come to an understanding about gift-giving patterns and expectations — is he a big-gift giver or a non-gift guy? Does he have a sense of who you are or did he buy you something some salesperson talked him into? — you have to give something. But, what?
I’ve made CD compilations in the past, but that’s not OK for everyone and might be considered cheap early on in a relationship. Plus, all that’s changed now because of technology. If he’s an iPad/iPhone guy, you can bet the CD and DVD players are long gone.
Lord knows we all have enough stuff, so I’m loathe to buy just anything. How many hat and scarf sets or leather gloves does a guy need? I prefer to give the gift of experience — a concert, a show, a getaway. Can’t do that early on in a relationship, though — it’s a commitment for a future day, and who knows if you’ll still be together or not?
Then there’s the price thing. How much do you spend on someone you’ve known for six months? A year?
And, do you even give a gift to someone who isn’t your boyfriend or girlfriend, someone you’re just seeing? That’s a tricky one.
Now, I’m easy to give for; cook me a dinner, arrange a picnic hike, tickets to a favorite band — I melt like buttah. Just don’t get me something sparkly; as I’ve written before, if a guy buys me jewelry, I know the relationship is doomed.
So, help me help Sara:
- If you’re a guy, what do you like to get as a gift?
- What truly matters more, the thought or the gift? (Be honest!)
- What would be inappropriate to get from someone you’re been dating six months?
- Does it bother you if someone you’re dating seems clueless about what you’d like?
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