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Is marriage dead?

Posted on Monday, September 12, 2011 in Happiness, Kat, love, Marriage, Relationships

“This is disgusting!” Sara said as she shoved a People magazine in front of me.

“So then why do you keep reading that stupid magazine?”

“Not the magazine; I love People! I mean, the wedding.”

“You mean Kim Kardashian’s?”

“Well, duh!”

“Look, it may be bordering on obscene how much they spent on it …”

“Over the top!”

” … and it’s doubtful they’ll last a year …”  

“Oh, they’ll last longer than that. She has to have the baby bump first. Then they’ll divorce.”

” … but with everyone predicting marriage is dead, at least they don’t think so. They could have just lived together.”

“That’s not a marriage — it’s a photo op!”

I have no idea if Kim and new hubby Kris Humphries really love each other or not — and honestly, I don’t really care (although I would hope so if they’re going to have kids one day). They were smart to sign a prenup (and she makes a lot more than he does), although I’d imagine any breakup that involved a Kardashian would involve a lot of drama, prenup or not. And maybe Sara’s right; maybe it’s all for show (and media endorsements), like a reality TV show somehow got confused with reality. But everyone keeps talking about how marriage is dead and that no one needs it anymore, yet couples keep getting married — more than 2 million a year. The same it’s been for years.

We don’t have to marry anymore. People may still give look down upon divorce but it’s so common that it’s almost expected; so is cohabitation. But, just look at how gaga we get over something Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding, and Kim and Kris’.It’s like we still want to believe in the happily-ever-after part even though we know it rarely ends up that way.

So if half of those marriages end up in divorce (and many men complain about they hate paying spousal support), and who-knows-how-many are married but cheating, and choice moms are having babies with sperm donors (who needs a husband if you can just have a kid?), and more people are living together  … you have to wonder why people still get married.

Can it be that we just love the idea of marriage more than the actual reality of it?

I wish Kim and Kris and anyone else who’s tying the knot the best. Hopefully, they’ve given a lot of thought into picking the right partner, especially if they hope to have kids one day. I’m quite done with marriage myself — one wedding was enough! — but I sure do like re-creating honeymoon nights …

  • Is marriage irrelevant?
  • Why did you get married?
  • If you married again, would it be for the same reason or something else?

  Photo © Angelika Bentin –


Bring on the comments

  1. Kat Wilder says:

    If #marriage is #obsolete and so many #divorce, why do so many of us want to #marry like #Kim #Kardashian?

  2. A dude says:

    Marriage is dead just in time for gay marriage? Nah. The reason people want to get married (gay or not) is because society is set up for it- everything from taxes to medical/privacy rights to terminology is easier when married (A: “I’d like you to meet my partner” B: “Your business partner?” “No, my, you know, long-time girfriend.” that’s always a pain). And the assurance of committment is still worth quite a bit albeit it not like it used to.

  3. ChopperPapa
    Twitter: chopperpapa

    Marriage isn’t dead, it is still a wonderful institution that has lasted for centuries. It’s just the people getting married are dead – emotionally, spiritually, and ethically.

  4. Kat Wilder says:

    Dude — I agree; society is set up for it (but, it’s changing). But “assurance of commitment”? I’d say there’s an assumption that there’s an assurance of commitment — and we all know about assumptions!

    ChopperPapa — Now that’s quite the statement! Sounds like you’re unhappy with the whole lot of us.

  5. brian says:

    well legally speaking it isn’t
    beyond that the question i have to ask is whose marriage is it?
    spending a ton of money to show off?
    or just because your girlfriends have and its a competition or think you want the same thing??

    a promise to or holding oneself out to community or for those who so believe to the eyes of God still has purpose and meaning

    as for spending money i’d rather design a 2-3 month blow out round the world honeymoon including the temples that men have constructed to the women they love
    temple of neferetiri @ abu simbel
    intersperced with beaches
    bora bora
    and vibrant cities
    hong kong

    that and a very large tasteful ring
    i’m big fan of jewels

    leave the flowers and photos and music and dresses and rubber chicken dinners for others

  6. Kat Wilder says:

    Brain — Methinks you are confusing “wedding” with “marriage.” One’s a one-day party, the other one is (hopefully) a lifelong “party.”

  7. Is marriage dead? What are your thoughts?

  8. Arlene says:

    I don’t think marriage is dead, although it was not my personal choice. Cohabitation is.
    It has been a part of human culture for so long that people do it without much thought – more because its something you do. Go to school, get married have kids have grand kids and die.
    For me, cohabitation or marriage is about the partnership and will only work as long as the partnership works. Sadly, just like in business.

  9. Kat Wilder says:

    Arlene — It’s true it has been around along time, but cohabitation is how we started. Marriage is a relatively new idea, and once we started marrying for love we created all sorts of headaches! But, there’s nothing sad about partnership — each person bringing his/her best to create a cohesive unit, married or not, sounds good to me! 😉