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Is a threesome one person too many?

Posted on Monday, July 18, 2011 in Happiness, Honesty, Kat, Relationships, Sex/sexuality

It was pure coincidence that Sean and I ran into Sara and Todd, her OKcupid date, in line to for the movies. After, we went out for drinks and we got to know him better.

I liked him. He, evidently, liked me, too.

“So, Todd thinks you’re pretty hot,” Sara told me on the phone yesterday.

“He’s cute, Sara. Don’t mess this one up!”

“Ha! Believe me; I’m trying not to! He said he thought it would pretty cool having a threesome with you.”

“A threesome? That’s funny — doesn’t he know I’ve already seen you naked?”

“Whatever, but I’m serious. I mean, I think he’s serious.” 

“Really? Now that would be weird. I don’t think I could ever look at you the same way again, Sara. Plus there’s the matter of Sean.”

“He could watch.”

“True. But …”

“Don’t worry — I don’t want to sleep with you, either. If any third person’s hopping into my bed, it will be someone who looks like Johnny Depp and has the stamina of Tiger Woods.”

I’d have to agree.

Most guys love the idea of a threesome. If one hot, naked babe in your bed sounds good, doesn’t two hot, naked babes sound even better? About every guy I’ve ever know has either mentioned a threesome as a fantasy or has done it, sometimes more than once.

Obviously some women are into threesomes, too, although I have no idea how many prefer two babes and a guy or two guys and their naked self. Not that I have any problem with women’s bodies — I think they can be beautiful (as long as they’re not Botoxed and fake boobed, or fat). I’d just rather have another man and his package attending to my, uh, needs.

But for every happy threesome I’ve heard about, there’s been at least one unhappy one — the guy was more into babe No. 2,  neither gal was into each other, both gals were too into each other, etc. — and a relationship that thought it was hedonistically open-minded became a very frail version of itself.

Which begs the question — is a ménage-a-trois better as a fantasy than as a reality? Is it worth the risk?

I think it’s nice to know that having a threesome an option, same like like retiring early, traveling around the world for a year and then settling in Tahiti.

What about you?

 

Photo © Lourdes Tamés – Fotolia.com

Bring on the comments

  1. Jim
    Twitter: mobilene
    says:

    Not interested. I’m aggressively a one-woman man.

  2. hicknerd says:

    like like ?

  3. T
    Twitter: tsquest
    says:

    The reason men that have had threesomes have done it more than once? Because the first time, they just sat there in stunned awe.

    *ahem* Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything!

    Seriously, some guys don’t know what to do with themselves when the opportunity presents itself. It sounds nice but if the guy is involved with one of the girls, he’ll start the same line of internal questioning he does when she asks, “Do I look fat in this?”

    Then, if he gets past that, there is a chance of someone getting their feelings hurt.

    I dunno. I think the fantasy is richer than the experience.

    Just speaking from my own experience…

  4. Kat Wilder says:

    Jim — I had a feeling you are … 😉

    T — Well, of course a guy would sit there in awe if one of the women were you. Just sayin’ …

  5. KC says:

    Hi Kat, Long time no see….

    I think everything has it’s place in life and life experiences. I also think it all depends on how your relationship started with your partner. If you make it clear that you are open to certain experiences and your partner is as well then there shouldn’t be any problems… of course it doesn’t always work out that way…
    I think people should be open to new experiences. Talking about it before and after makes it a lot easier to swallow…
    so to speak…
    I think there is nothing sexier than 2 women exploring each other.
    And T… I’ve never had a problem figuring out what my part should be in the experience! Sit back and wait to be invited in…
    haha

  6. Kat Wilder says:

    Do all #men really want a #threesome? http://bit.ly/pSDsVW

  7. Chopper Papa
    Twitter: chopperpapa
    says:

    There is one valuable key in the three-some that I think is paramount. Most guys want a threesome, but not with the woman that they are madly in love with. They may THINK they do when they are just talking about it but when it’s show time their feelings get all mixed up.

    For guys anyway, the best threesomes are when he may have a FWB situation and they bring another girl into the mix…don’t ask me how I know.

  8. Edgar says:

    I’m not sure what the fantasy is all about. Having participated in a couple of threesome experiences (with two women), it was a little distracting to try to figure out what combination of body parts made the most sense at any point in time. I prefer the intimacy and ease of the erotic dance with just one partner.

  9. brian says:

    well i retired early
    have been to tahiti several times
    but no 3 somes
    although i’d be open to that or a bisexual girlfriend having a girlfriend or 2 on the side
    if i get invited in so much the better

    men project their own sexuality into this and onto a woman

    a part of this is the fear to some degree of infidelity with another man

    2 women sexually involved is not the threat

  10. The Observer says:

    OK, Alrighty, then. A freaky three-way is off my radar screen. Closest I’ve come (actually, no pun intended)is two in the same day but not all three of us in one bed together. Hmmmmm, might have been nice. But traveling down the monogamy trail for the past 36 years has had its ups and downs but never with two awesome veejayjays semi-simultaneously. Too late for me, but no objection to others workin’ it. I did find it especially arousing to hear a younger bi-woman providing detailed descriptions of her 3 ways with her girl-fiend and her ex-boyfriend. This has been duplicated with her new husband and said girl-friend. Lucky bastard! Would I be so inclined to MFM? Don’t think so. Gotta cop to being a little intimidated about performance issues with another dude sweatin’ it up couple inches away. Nothing that couldn’t be overcome (Ok, intended this time)with some practice. Of course, the “F” wouldn’t be my main squeeze, in this scenario– that doesn’t even rise (pun alert!) to the level of a fantasy. FMF or nothing. So, nothing. So, Sara seems game, eh, Kat? Jus’ sayin’.

  11. Kat Wilder says:

    KC — Methinks you have had some experience round those “parts” …

    ChopperPapa — Your secrets are safe with me!

    Edgar — Yeah, but maybe you needed to experience two guys and a gal — just sayin’ …

    Brian — OK, but do you know how many women leave men for another woman? It’s a bit (or so I hear). So, it could still be threatening, no?

    TO — I would never put anything past Sara 😉