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How do you decide who’s a slut and who isn’t?

Posted on Monday, July 4, 2011 in Honesty, Kat, Relationships, Self image, Sex/sexuality, Women

It’s been so hot around here that when Sean and I were out for some pre-Fourth of July festivities, I couldn’t help but notice how skimpily many women were dressed. Most had no business being almost naked, if you know what I mean, but many looked pretty hot. Others in their super-tiny skirts or shorts and barely bust-containing tank tops looked, well, skanky.

Which made me wonder — can you identify a slut by how she dresses?

And, what is a slut, anyway?  

Last month, thousands of people all over the world hit the streets for SlutWalks after a Toronto cop said if gals stopped dressing like sluts we’d avoid being raped or victimized. I guess we shouldn’t flaunt our sexuality or we’ll be asking for it.

But, do our clothes alone make us sluts? I’ve seen some pretty trashy outfits on the runways of haute couture designers, but I doubt anyone would call the models wearing them sluts, whether on the catwalks or in some trendy restaurant.

We know what makes a guy a player. He’s a guy just in it for the sex with as many women as he can seduce, isn’t honest with the women he sleeps with and probably  doesn’t have healthy relationships with women in general. Unfortunately, you can’t identify a player by his outfits — except maybe back in the ’70s when the unbuttoned shirts, thick mustaches and white poly suits made most who wore them look like B-level porn stars.

But it’s harder to agree on what makes a woman a slut. Clearly clothes and how many guys she’s slept with aren’t the only markers. Maybe it’s like what Justice Potter Stewart said about porn — it’s hard to define but you just know it when you see it. But, wouldn’t you have to know a little more than that?

  • How do you decide who’s a slut or not?
  • If you sleep with a slut, can you still call her a slut? Wouldn’t you be one, too?

Photo © dimis – Fotolia.com

 

Bring on the comments

  1. Chopper Papa
    Twitter: chopperpapa
    says:

    I don’t think so. Personally the more provocative a woman dresses boils down to two things. (1) the man she is with (assuming she is straight) likes her dressing in a slutty way because it makes him feel like the ‘man’ (2) she is longing for the attention that comes from the looks and the jeers.

    Many a woman who is freer with her sexuality might be more comfortable letting it all hang out but I wouldn’t automatically pin her for giving it up as quickly.

  2. A dude says:

    I haven’t heard the term “slut” used for real in a long time, maybe not since I was a kid. “Skank” has replaced it I think, which is more based on looks, letting it all hang in a gross way, hanging all over guys in bars etc. (“creep” is the male counterpart maybe?). I don’t think most dudes care how many men a woman has slept with any more, as long as she has comported herself with some self-respect along the way. Or this dude anyway.

  3. Edgar says:

    Slut – oh, the brutish force of that Anglo-Saxon etymology! Somehow, wench or trollop sound ever more mellifluous (even though the former still has Germanic roots.) But, really, what is a slut in these days of female predominance (in everything except Fortune 500 board membership?) A woman of easy virtue? Puleeze – like those delightful wild women say – Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics!

  4. brian says:

    a slut is the pretty and hot girl who will sleep with every guy except you

  5. Kat Wilder says:

    Chopper Papa — So, a man wouldn’t get jealous if his woman dressed in an attention-getting way? See, another way in which men and women differ! 😉

    Dude — Hmm, we just had a bunch of SlutWalks. Skanks, sluts — it’s just semantics. I tend to think of young women dressing like skanks; older women who dress inappropriately aren’t skanky or slutty — just all wrong!!!!

    Edgar — personally, I love trollop. I like how it rolls of the tongue, which of course gets one thinking …

    Brian — Bingo!!!! 😉

  6. Kat Wilder says:

    RT @tweetmeme If you #sleep with a #slut is she still a slut? http://bit.ly/nn9kNw

  7. The Observer says:

    My thoughts on Slut vs slut…seems to be more a diss from women involving other women. Men can act in a slut-like manner but I don’t see the terminology being used to describe a man with loose morals as an appropriate descriptor. I’d love to see the term disappear. People can own their own sexuality and not have to conform to other’s expectations and morals. Societal norms value men for their stud-liness and women for their sexual restraint.. An obvious disconnect. Time may see this change…lots of time. ciao.

  8. Kat Wilder says:

    TO — People can own their own sexuality and not have to conform to other’s expectations and morals Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!