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A Kat Wilder sex tape?

Posted on Thursday, August 5, 2010 in dating, Kat, Relationships, Sex/sexuality

“So, did you hear that what’s her face made a sex tape?” Sara said.

“Who, Miley?

“No, you know,” Sara said, hoping my middle-aged brain would know what hers obviously couldn’t remember.

“Lady Gaga?”

“No, Gaga’s celibate, remember?”

“Oh, right,” I said halfheartedly because, honestly, I have no interest in celebrities. But I tossed out every name I could think of because that’s what good friends have to do sometimes. “Lindsay? Paris? Angelina? Kate? Heidi?”

“Fishburne!” Sara said with a new-found confidence in her brain. “Montana Fishburne. Yeah, she says it helped that Kardashian girl become famous.”         

“There are, like, 500 Kardashians, and I couldn’t tell one from the other, thankfully. But, what exactly did it help her become famous at? Screwing?

“If Ashleigh made a sex tape, I’d disown her,” Sara said, skirting the issue. “What about you?”

“I would be very surprised if there was a sex tape of Trent floating out there. I don’t even think the poor kid’s gotten laid yet.”

“No, I mean you. Have you made a sex tape?”

“Me? No way! I mean, I think I haven’t.”

“Kat, I would think you’d pretty much know if you did, don’t you?”

Yeah, one would think. But with the technology nowadays, when you’re goofing around with a boyfriend, you never really know what’s going on — or where it will end up — do you?

Like the time I was over Ryan’s house, the somewhat geeky dot-com entrepreneur I dated for a while. We’d slipped into his bed and I noticed there was an eerie light coming from his bedroom closet.

“What’s that” I asked, snuggling under the covers.

“Just some things I have plugged in.”

“Oh,” I said, trying to sound cool with it; he was a techie, after all. But I couldn’t help but wonder why the closet door was slightly ajar.

So I called him on it.

“Are you filming us having sex?”

“No, why?” he said, with just a bit of huffiness in his voice.

I didn’t want to make an issue of it, so I decided to get on with the evening’s, uh, agenda.

When that relationship ended, I started seeing Van. One day, after making a lovely meal together, we got naked and made our way to his hot tub when he began to hoist his movie camera onto a tripod.

“What are you doing?”

“I thought it would be fun to watch us on the TV.”

“You’re not going to film us!”

“No, just projecting us,” he said as he kissed me with his soft lips, which just made me melt, and I didn’t think too much about it.

Until now.

Do I expect to find my naked body gyrating on the Internet for anyone to see … and for free?

Hell no!

And now I feel kind of foolish for not paying a little bit more attention — and also for not fully trusting Ryan and Van.

Not that a have a problem with porn.

Anyone who’s read this blog knows I’m no prude!

I certainly wouldn’t have any objection to making a home porn tape with my lover either, as long as the emphasis was on home, as in staying at home.

And it got destroyed if we broke up.

But having it go viral?

No thank you, even if it meant I’d be “famous.” I can think of other ways I’d seek fame.

However, when I watched that sex tape of Colin Farrell and Nicole Narain, I just couldn’t help thinking, “What a lame blow job — even I can do better than that.” (Ah, if only Colin would give me a chance!)

Hmm, maybe I’m missing my true calling …

  • Have you made home porn?
  • Ever worry if you’ll find it on the Internet?

Photo © Maciej Mamro –

Bring on the comments

  1. brian says:

    ever wonder if the camera buit into the screen of your laptop can be controlled by outside sources and turned on by them when you don’t realize it?

  2. I’ve never made a sex tape and don’t suspect any covert ones have been made either. With all the tapes that have been “leaked” you think people would learn the potential risk of amking one – unless of course, you dont mind that being the possible result. I do.

  3. Steve says:

    Don’t worry Kat, those sex videos will not surface until your writing makes you into a celebrity 🙂

  4. T
    Twitter: tsquest

    Brian’s comment made me go “hmmm…..”.

    I used to make homemade porn videos for my ex-bf when he was in Iraq. He called me his personal porn star.

    Has he destroyed them since we broke up? I have no idea.

    If I ever see myself online, I’ll make sure and send the link to my current bf. 😉

  5. KC says:

    OK, a mans (my) perspective… I’ve made sex tapes with girlfriends. I’ve cammed with my GF with others watching. It’s sexy, it’s exciting, it’s wild, its nasty, its all the things that we aren’t supposed to do, or like. I’ve made tapes with other girlfriends as well but mostly of them doing things… or us getting our freak on and when we broke up, I left the tapes with them. I don’t have any use for them anymore and I don’t want to have them sitting around. Would I mind if I saw myself on the internet? Nah, wouldn’t bother me. Would my current girlfriend mind if she saw herself on the internet, only if it showed her face… would she mind if she saw me on the Net? She wouldn’t see anything she hasn’t done with me or with others.. Of course, I’m not famous, neither is she so who would really care! It was FUN making them and it was HOT, EXCITING and it opened our relationships up to a lot of exciting things. It also helped us get over those hang ups that many have. I don’t get jealous anymore, I don’t get possessive anymore. I don’t have to “own” my GF’s anymore, nor do I need to be owned by anyone else. My eyes opened up when the boxes opened up and let all that stuff out. It’s great not having those controlling things keeping you stifled and not allowing yourself to free your mind.
    Just my two cents… See you on the NET !! (smiles)

  6. Matt Schupp says:

    I put a piece of black electrical tape over my webcam, I think of it as putting the lens cover on any old camera. This way, NO MATTER WHAT happens inside my laptop, I control when images are recorded/broadcasted from my webcam the old-fashioned way.
    A friend of mine recently complained to me about an exbf who taped her without permission. My response was= Don’t worry about it. there is so much amateur porn videos out there, that unless you’re REALLY hot (which I am not, either) or perform an amazing trick, no one will notice.

  7. Kat Wilder says:

    #montana's sex tape has nothing on mine!

  8. BigLittleWolf
    Twitter: BigLittleWolf

    Ha! This is kind of funny. And not. Given the technology around, as you say, what we think may have been shared in an intimate relationship may go beyond those respected boundaries.

    Do we ever really know?

    Then again, it’s all become so commonplace (is that good or bad or neither?) – maybe it doesn’t matter.

    Food for thought.

  9. Kat Wilder says:

    Brian — when I was a kid, I used to think people could watch me from like anywhere. Made me not pick my nose (too much …) 😉

    Mindy — Has anyone ever asked you to? No one’s asked me, but then again, I think of poor Erin Andrews …

    Steve — You mean, it … hasn’t? Dang!

    T — and me, too, OK? 😉

    KC — and so how come I haven’t been invited to watch, hmmm….?

    Matt — Gee, I’m starting to feel like even if I had a tape on the Net, no one would even be interested in watching! Now, I feel bad!

    BLW — True, although there aren’t many people I see on a daily basis that I’d like to see naked, know what I mean?

  10. dadshouse
    Twitter: dadshouseblog

    I wouldn’t trust a partner to keep a sex tape private. There are too many ways for it to get out. And for what? I’d rather look at Kim Kardashian anyways

  11. KC says:

    We’ll send you out a little “heads up” the next time!
    We’ll Skype you! lol