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M is for mother and masturbation

As my dog Roxy and I took a Mother’s Day hike together — her “gift” to me, I suppose — I chucked to myself that we moms get one day out of the year to ourselves while the big M — masturbation — gets a whole month.

You have to wonder who decided that and why!

Not that I’m complaining.

In fact, I’m all for it (although the poor restaurants can’t cash in much: “Mom, I’d sure like to take you to brunch, but you’re going to have to stop what you’re doing in there long enough to eat …” Nor can Hallmark, but there’s always some creative company that will.)

Beside the fact that masturbation just feels so damn good (and guys, even if you’d rather we gals “use” you instead of our vibrators and fingers, trust me: you benefit big time by it because it helps us figure out what pleases us and what doesn’t. Want us to orgasm? Let us play with ourselves!), it might also mean there are less mothers celebrating Mother’s Day.
Given the latest news from Pew, that might be a
very good thing.   

Evidently, 47 percent of parents say having a baby “just happened.”

Not surprisingly, given the increase in single gals having babies, it’s mostly women who say that when explaining how they got knocked up the first time.

The Pill just marked its 50th year, and although it and other birth control methods aren’t foolproof
and accidents do happen — really, almost half of the pregnancies “just happened”?

I think not!

Because every time you have sex, you’re basically making a baby — unless you’re doing something to prevent it, like using condoms.

Whether you think like Ann Coulter (shudder), that single moms create “criminals, strippers, rapists
and murderers,”
or not, I just can’t imagine that 47 percent of people aren’t giving the biggest decision of their live a little more thought.

I mean, do we end up driving a Lexus SUV instead of a VW Beetle because it “just happened”?

I know women who give more thought to buying a pair of jeans. Or their hair color.

I have to agree with author and Evergreen State College professor Stephanie Coontz that we can’t “(shoehorn) everyone back into marriages” because “very often kids do worse if their mother rushes into a marriage that may be unstable.”

You bet! Who needs more dysfunctional divorced parents and their troubled kids mulling around? Don’t we have enough, and I include my own somewhat troubled divorced family in that.

But, please convince me that people who view having a baby as something that “just happens” are ready to be parents. I would hope that any person, male or female, would be just a little more prepared than that. Actually, I’d hope they’d be a helluva lot more prepared than that!

So, gals, please start taking National Masturbation Month (a whole month!) to heart more than Mother’s Day; honestly, it’s just a Hallmark Day.

Yeah, you don’t get brunch and a handmade card, but you don’t get knocked up, either.

  • What do you think about 47 percent of pregnancies “just happening”?
  • How’s Masturbation Month going for you?

Photo © krasispektar –

Bring on the comments

  1. It takes TWO to become pregnant. And sometimes even though protection is used pregnancy still happens; it’s a known possible outcome that BOTH parties are aware of upfront. So are STD’s and I think they are more common than pregnancies now.

    Just because you have an umbrella doesn’t mean you wont still get wet when it rains.
    .-= Mindy@SingleMomSays´s last blog ..Men: Check Your Head =-.

  2. brian says:

    look at the role models pushed by contemporary american culture via the mass media
    having kids out of wedlock or in excess of you ability to pay for them has no stigma
    and its still one sure way to get entitlements from the government
    look madonna and angelina do it
    there even a show on the e channel
    its a reality show called 16 and knocked up
    only difference is madonna and angie can pay for their actions
    in cali 58% of kids born to women 18-25 are on medical
    we all pay for this
    20% of those the mother is illegal having an anchor baby to avoid deportation
    so when you complain about no money for schools and parks and in home care for the elderly look where the money is going
    if you want to understand why a large part of the arab world hates the US look at the values we export that they don’t want their children exposed to

  3. T
    Twitter: tsquest

    Woohoo! Masturbation! I’m all for it! 🙂

    (And I’m shocked. Really? 47%? Wow.)
    .-= T´s last blog ..My sexuality, part 6 =-.

  4. Don says:

    I think many guys assume a woman has birth control taken care of already…not that this is right, but alot presume that she doesn’t want to get pregnant.

    I had a girlfriend who had told me she was on the pill…then got pregnant…and I was joyous about it because we were in love. She then told me she already had 2 children and was not ready to have another and that we could try after we got married. I believe a child is a miracle and am against abortion, but loved her and respected the fact that it was her body. Three weeks after the abortion, she told me that she had been pregnant with twins….which blew me away. Then, on top of that, she told me a week later that she wanted me to get her pregnant again and was serious!! I didn’t even know how to respond to that…We are not still together, but I am still coping with the loss of the twins.
    .-= Don´s last blog ..Ducklings and children… =-.

  5. dadshouse
    Twitter: dadshouseblog

    I hate masturbation. I would much rather have sex. Short of that, I would much rather have a woman get me off than me have to get myself off. (I thoroughly enjoy getting a woman off.) Getting myself off is a necessary form of relief, and not something to celebrate.

    But I’m a guy.
    .-= dadshouse´s last blog ..How Do You Date a Rich Woman? =-.

  6. Single Mom Seeking
    Twitter: singlemomseekin

    Let’s just say you got me with that title. Good one! And I love your lead in, too. Yeah, how about a whole month for masturbating moms!
    .-= Single Mom Seeking´s last blog ..Talking live about A Dad’s Point of View =-.

  7. Kat Wilder says:

    Mindy — love the umbrella analogy. Yes, it takes two to get pregnant, and that’s a silent “understanding” each party takes whenever we have sex. However, I let my teen son know that should he knock up a girl, he’s legally and financially responsible for that baby, even if the mother never lets him see him/her. That made him pay attention!

    Brian — The Pew report indicates fewer teens are getting pregnant, and more 40-year-olds; it’s their “last chance.”

    T — I think I remember you took part in the Masturbation-o-thon a few years back, right? ;-). And, yeah; when I saw that number, I nearly had a cow (not a baby, tho!)

    Dads — You are truly the first guy I ever heard express that he hates masturbation. How can that be?

    SMS — A good title, like a nice smile, goes far … 😉

  8. Kat Wilder says:

    Don — Wow, pardon me if I sound judgmental, but that is one messed-up situation! I don’t even know where to begin, I’d just say that maybe it’s a blessing you’re not still together.

  9. Jim Everson says:

    So hrd to typ e with one hamd .
    .-= Jim Everson´s last blog ..Lies, All Lies =-.

  10. Kat Wilder says:

    Jim — Here, lemme help … 😉

  11. Kat Wilder says:

    Jim — Here, lemme give you a hand … 😉

  12. Kat Wilder says:

    Moms get one day and masturbation gets a whole month; does this make sense?

  13. KC says:

    I hate Masturbation…. never done it… the idea of doing it yourself repulses me… I’d rather be a Catholic priest… watching a woman do it makes me SICK… anyone that would do such a thing is lower than snake belly…
    Some people just can’t come to grips with the fact that its NATURAL and NEEDED…
    I have a girlfriend and have regular (wild) sex and I STILL love to fantasize and Honk on boo boo when ever the urge hits me ! LOL
    .-= KC´s last blog ..Daddy’s got some new carpet tonight! =-.

  14. VJ says:

    Well depending on how you ask the question? It’s been a remarkably stable answer now for more than a decade of such surveys, and indeed even several decades if your criteria are broad enough. About half of all pregnancies are ‘unintended’. Not all of these are carried to term, but still many moms would easily tell you that the child was not exactly ‘planned for’ despite perhaps being generally desired.

    But not an uncommon finding or thought. And one that likely has plenty of class (SES) based distinctions as well. Likely age grade expectations too, but suffice to say that even for many ethnic groups, pregnancy in a poor community is a ‘fait accompli’, and it’s something you might accept as your lot, despite it’s poor timing perhaps. Just something to think about. Cheers, ‘VJ’