As my dog Roxy and I took a Mother’s Day hike together — her “gift” to me, I suppose — I chucked to myself that we moms get one day out of the year to ourselves while the big M — masturbation — gets a whole month.
You have to wonder who decided that and why!
Not that I’m complaining.
In fact, I’m all for it (although the poor restaurants can’t cash in much: “Mom, I’d sure like to take you to brunch, but you’re going to have to stop what you’re doing in there long enough to eat …” Nor can Hallmark, but there’s always some creative company that will.)
Beside the fact that masturbation just feels so damn good (and guys, even if you’d rather we gals “use” you instead of our vibrators and fingers, trust me: you benefit big time by it because it helps us figure out what pleases us and what doesn’t. Want us to orgasm? Let us play with ourselves!), it might also mean there are less mothers celebrating Mother’s Day.
Given the latest news from Pew, that might be a
very good thing.
Not surprisingly, given the increase in single gals having babies, it’s mostly women who say that when explaining how they got knocked up the first time.
The Pill just marked its 50th year, and although it and other birth control methods aren’t foolproof
and accidents do happen — really, almost half of the pregnancies “just happened”?
I think not!
Because every time you have sex, you’re basically making a baby — unless you’re doing something to prevent it, like using condoms.
Whether you think like Ann Coulter (shudder), that single moms create “criminals, strippers, rapists
and murderers,” or not, I just can’t imagine that 47 percent of people aren’t giving the biggest decision of their live a little more thought.
I mean, do we end up driving a Lexus SUV instead of a VW Beetle because it “just happened”?
I know women who give more thought to buying a pair of jeans. Or their hair color.
I have to agree with author and Evergreen State College professor Stephanie Coontz that we can’t “(shoehorn) everyone back into marriages” because “very often kids do worse if their mother rushes into a marriage that may be unstable.”
You bet! Who needs more dysfunctional divorced parents and their troubled kids mulling around? Don’t we have enough, and I include my own somewhat troubled divorced family in that.
But, please convince me that people who view having a baby as something that “just happens” are ready to be parents. I would hope that any person, male or female, would be just a little more prepared than that. Actually, I’d hope they’d be a helluva lot more prepared than that!
So, gals, please start taking National Masturbation Month (a whole month!) to heart more than Mother’s Day; honestly, it’s just a Hallmark Day.
Yeah, you don’t get brunch and a handmade card, but you don’t get knocked up, either.
- What do you think about 47 percent of pregnancies “just happening”?
- How’s Masturbation Month going for you?
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