Mia and I hiked to the German Tourist Club for a beer and a spirited Scrabble game last weekend when we passed by a cute 30-something couple. The woman smiled at us, but the guy’s eyes went quickly from our faces to Mia’s chest.
The girl has a rack.
“Did you see that?”
“Sweetie, you just created a bit of a Boobquake on Mount Tam!”
“Oh, did he look at my tits? Whatever.”
I guess it is a “whatever” if that’s what people focus on all the time; I wouldn’t know, as life
has not given me my fair share of mammary action, let’s say.
I have no idea what it’s like to have men
stare at only a certain part of my anatomy. Oh, men have sometimes stared in general and that’s obviously been quite nice — if I find him attractive, that is. Funny how we think he’s a creep if he’s not.
All girls discover the power of their breasts once they develop them — or not. Guys who never paid attention to you suddenly act, well, like boobs around you. Breasts have been behind many a middle school romance and many a middle school depression. The girls who develop early were the ones who either used their breasts to their advantage or who hated their body. We flat-chested girls watched in a mixture of awe, jealousy and gratitude.
I’ll never be able to enter a Pamela Anderson lookalike contest. I have accepted that. However, I have, thankfully, been rewarded with what used to be the most-ogled body part — a butt — before boobs muscled in to the No. 1 spot.
J.Lo and Beyonce helped us booty types regain a little of our stature, enough for butt cracks to be considered the new cleavage — although, honestly, those gals are working it from both sides.
I can’t say I’d be a happier person if I had bigger boobs, but you bet I love it when a certain bra or a shirt or some combination thereof gives me the appearance of actual cleavage (of course, in light of my recent wardrobe malfunction, sometimes being small works to one’s advantage).
And, fortunately, it hasn’t been an issue with the guys I’ve dated — because I wouldn’t have dated them in the first place, doh — although I’m sure none of them would have objected if they woke up one day and my boobs were magically, naturally, bigger (smaller? Hmm …).
Why are we so obsessed with breasts? I don’t know, but I look at them, too. It’s easy to tell the fake ones from the real — they’re so many of them around! So many men have said although they hate the feel of fake boobs, “They’re so nice to look at.”
Sure, I do my share of ogling men’s butts. As for a guy’s package, unless we go back to the days of the cock rockers, it’s like Vegas; you place your bets and pray. The truth is revealed once they’re naked. There aren’t any dick jobs … yet.
Ah, but here’s where we gals have it slightly over you guys — big dicks are not only nice to look at, but they feel good, too!
- Where do you stand on boobs — big or small?
- Are you a boobs or butts person?
- If you’re a woman, do you wish you were bigger? Smaller?
- What about fake boobs?