Causing a little boobquake every day
Mia and I hiked to the German Tourist Club for a beer and a spirited Scrabble game last weekend when we passed by a cute 30-something couple. The woman smiled at us, but the guy’s eyes went quickly from our faces to Mia’s chest.
The girl has a rack.
“Did you see that?”
“What?” she said, obliviously. 
“Sweetie, you just created a bit of a Boobquake on Mount Tam!”
“Oh, did he look at my tits? Whatever.”
I guess it is a “whatever” if that’s what people focus on all the time; I wouldn’t know, as life
has not given me my fair share of mammary action, let’s say.
I have no idea what it’s like to have men
stare at only a certain part of my anatomy. Oh, men have sometimes stared in general and that’s obviously been quite nice — if I find him attractive, that is. Funny how we think he’s a creep if he’s not.
All girls discover the power of their breasts once they develop them — or not. Guys who never paid attention to you suddenly act, well, like boobs around you. Breasts have been behind many a middle school romance and many a middle school depression. The girls who develop early were the ones who either used their breasts to their advantage or who hated their body. We flat-chested girls watched in a mixture of awe, jealousy and gratitude.
I’ll never be able to enter a Pamela Anderson lookalike contest. I have accepted that. However, I have, thankfully, been rewarded with what used to be the most-ogled body part — a butt — before boobs muscled in to the No. 1 spot.
J.Lo and Beyonce helped us booty types regain a little of our stature, enough for butt cracks to be considered the new cleavage — although, honestly, those gals are working it from both sides.
I can’t say I’d be a happier person if I had bigger boobs, but you bet I love it when a certain bra or a shirt or some combination thereof gives me the appearance of actual cleavage (of course, in light of my recent wardrobe malfunction, sometimes being small works to one’s advantage).
And, fortunately, it hasn’t been an issue with the guys I’ve dated — because I wouldn’t have dated them in the first place, doh — although I’m sure none of them would have objected if they woke up one day and my boobs were magically, naturally, bigger (smaller? Hmm …).
Why are we so obsessed with breasts? I don’t know, but I look at them, too. It’s easy to tell the fake ones from the real — they’re so many of them around! So many men have said although they hate the feel of fake boobs, “They’re so nice to look at.”
Sure, I do my share of ogling men’s butts. As for a guy’s package, unless we go back to the days of the cock rockers, it’s like Vegas; you place your bets and pray. The truth is revealed once they’re naked. There aren’t any dick jobs … yet.
Ah, but here’s where we gals have it slightly over you guys — big dicks are not only nice to look at, but they feel good, too!
- Where do you stand on boobs — big or small?
- Are you a boobs or butts person?
- If you’re a woman, do you wish you were bigger? Smaller?
- What about fake boobs?
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Twitter: mobilene
says:
Well, first of all, I’m sorry I clicked through to this while at work because of the photo.
But the reason we’re so obsessed with breasts is because they are interesting, plain and simple.
.-= jim´s last blog ..On Erskine Boulevard =-.
YES, I notice breasts… small ones, large ones and the always scrumptious, just right ones..!
I can’t help but glance at a woman that knows how to tastefully show off what god gave her without being overly obvious. Now, if a woman is walking around with her cleavage wide open for the world to see, she shouldn’t get upset when a man, or woman, takes in an eyeful! What does she expect? “Oh no, Tits, I better look away”. Personally, I prefer natural breasts. Large or small. I had a girlfriend that had a boob job, she had a breast that was smaller than the other… but the doctor didn’t do a very good job. They looked nice while covered but when they were let loose, one pointed straight out and the other pointed to the floor…. nothing nicer than feeling the press of two breasts against my back while riding my motorcycle… there’s just something about that. Now big butts, no thanks! J-lo and Bayonce.. work that butt off! Big butts don’t look good on bikes and ass crack was meant for Plumbers, not girls!
.-= KC´s last blog ..Mondays…. =-.
My only marriage so far in life was to a large chested woman and found that breasts are great, but nothing is better when having sex than a nice rear.
A hips-to-waist ratio has to be there….where the waist is smaller and has that sweep to the rear. I believe this is a primitive instinct that draws men because that sweep indicated to cavemen that the woman was a good childbearer…or so I read.
All I know is that I am proud to say I like women’s butts much more than the boobies!!
Whoever I end up with in life….this is one thing I KNOW they will have to have…..Baby gonna have to have back…..”little in the middle but she got much back” as Sir Mixalot said.
.-= Don´s last blog ..A jug fills drop by drop… =-.
Like the old saying goes, “more than a handful is a waste.”
I’m a butt person and will always take a hot ass over whatever type breasts are being presented. Honestly, shallow or not I don’t think I could date a woman without an ass.
Fake boobs look nice all dressed up, but beyond that I think its a travesty to a woman’s body.
.-= Mike´s last blog ..Life of Riley =-.
I love it that it is only guys who have commented so far. Bless you my brothers!
I agree with the others that the fakes are not so great. But the fact is that I have never met a boob that I didn’t like. God help me, but I love every single booby on the planet. There is no such thing as a bad set. They are all great.
The poet Charles Simic has a poem called Breasts. In the poem he says:
They bring on their nipples
Beads of inaudible sighs,
Vowels of delicious clarity
For the little red schoolhouse of our mouths
and later the poem continues….
I insist that a girl
Stripped to the waist
Is the first and last miracle
That the old janitor on his deathbed
Who demands to see his wife’s breasts
For one last time
Is the greatest poet who ever lived.
.-= Jim Everson´s last blog ..Depot Bell #7: Carmina Burana =-.
Twitter: msjennixo
says:
I have DD’s. It’s a love-hate relationship. Part of me accepts the fact that I’ve been “blessed” with big boobs. But I’ve also juggled with the idea of taking them down to a larger C. For now though, I’m just attempting to “be grateful for what I have.” At least I’m not hauling around a pair that’s double what I already have.
My two biggest complaints are: 1.) Strapless bras. I’ve yet to find one that can do a good job of holding the girls in. So I’m missing out on a lot of cute clothes! 2.) Shirts/dresses that have specific places for boobs – because mine never FIT in “the boobie zone.”
Obviously, no boy I’ve ever met has complained about them.
As for fake boobs: If they’re done tastefully, I think they’re hot. I have a few friends that have fake boobs, and I feel they were nicely done. You can’t even really tell.. the only reason I know, is because I’ve had several suggest their doctors to me, when I’ve talked about taking mine down in size.
Woman who get obnoxiously large fake boobs though.. not so much. To me, they’re just trying to hard. And it’s trashy looking.
.-= Jenni´s last blog ..Life: It’s Overwhelming =-.
# Where do you stand on boobs — big or small?
Yes, but never on them, really. Either, actually are just fine.
# Are you a boobs or butts person?
Yes, thanks.
# If you’re a woman, do you wish you were bigger? Smaller?
Man, probably smaller, but hey it comes with age too.
# What about fake boobs?
Huge lucrative industry & CA would likely sink slowly into the sea without all the added buoyancy. Most look pretty silly & obvious though, which might just be the post modernist point. Cheers, ‘VJ’
Twitter: youshouldknowca
says:
Life's inequity: If a cute guy stares at our boobs, it's OK. If he's not, he's a creep. http://tinyurl.com/23xujjn
Twitter: KatWilder
says:
Jim — Oops. Should have tagged it NSFW. Interesting in an odd freak show kind of way, or interesting in the Most Interesting Man in the Wold kinda way?
KC — LOL! Yes, and I’ll say it feels nice on the breasts, too, to be smooshed up to behind someone you love.
Don — It’s true that butts = fertility for a certain period, but once homo sapiens started standing erect, the fertility signal transferred to the breasts. And for a man to be successful, he had to have the strength, ebdurance and smarts to beat out all the others. Still works that way today, too …
Mike — there’s nothing shallow about what we like and don’t like. As long as we’re honest about it, right?
Jim — well, you are a magnanimous man! Love the poem, too.
Jenni — mine don’t fit in the “booby zone” either, but for different reasons! My (naturally) big-breasted friends feel the same way; blessing and curse. The bra thing is an issue and, with age, drooping and back pain. But none of us small gals has gotten fake ones — just better bras!
VL — Ha! Indeed; if California legalized pot and passed the “Botox tax,” too, we could get back to a surplus and hire all the teachers back! Boobies for education!
Twitter: mobilene
says:
Ok, so I had to look up the Most Interesting Man in the World. Guess I don’t get out enough! But it’s definitely more like that than like odd freakshow!
.-= jim´s last blog ..Old Erskine Boulevard photos =-.
Twitter: dadshouseblog
says:
I’ll take a nice firm ass over boobs, any day. No butt crack cleavage needed. Just hips.
.-= dadshouse´s last blog ..Discreet Dating During Divorce =-.
Men are interested in breasts for the same reason women are interested in penises
Its something you don’t have and therefore are curious about and want to explore
As for staring
One of the best reasons in the world for prescription sunglasses
Twitter: Santarosamom
says:
As someone who god-willing lost a bunch of weight, and also lost the bulk of her breast size along with it, I have one very important secret to pass along – Victoria Secret’s “Very Sexy” bra. I cannot tell you how much I love this contraption. It lifts me up, increases size, and gives me delicious cleavage. I cannot rave enough about this bra!
.-= Crissi´s last blog ..“Mom? Mom? MOM???” =-.