Comments on: Who says the L-word first?

By: Honey

Honey — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 19:09:01 +0000

I said it to Jake first, but I was drunk We’d been dating about 4 months I think, and since we’d had the exclusivity talk within the first week and the boyfriend/girlfriend talk after 3 months, it seemed okay.

He didn’t say it back for a couple months, but I knew he was crazy about me so I didn’t worry too much, though I didn’t say it again until he’d said it! Now we say it approximately 500 times a day.
.-= Honey´s last blog ..This Sex Toy Costs $60K–Honey, Are You Listening? =-.

By: mvgrl

mvgrl — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 18:55:32 +0000

I agree with both Vincent and Mindy, I was just remembering when I said it to my now -ex hubby. I was terrified! as in “what the hell am I getting in to ?”
I can’t remember if he responded or not.
These days I say the L word all the time, firstly to my kids, everyday, then to great girlfriends, and also to old boyfriends that have remained friends.
I like Brian’s take on the Miller Lite commercial..it was perfect. After working in a male dominated job (so they think)for a long time, I’ve figured out a lot about the opposite sex from the way they talk , and how they check out women…interesting..

By: Wombat

Wombat — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 18:37:09 +0000

May I choose another vowel?

I live you.

I hove you.

I levi you.

Anything but that l-word. It’s nothing bot trouble.
.-= Wombat´s last blog ..Fornicate in the Forum =-.

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:28:51 +0000

The two times in my life I said it to a romantic partner, I said it first. And I said it because I really did feel it. If a woman said it first, I might get scared and shut down. At the very least, I might suddenly be unable to separate her feelings for me from my own feelings.

So, I’m in the “guys should say the L-word first” camp.
.-= dadshouse´s last blog ..Children and Divorce =-.

By: Don

Don — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:14:40 +0000

Thanks Kat….I think you are right. I caught her in a few lies, but I’m a forgiving soul that looks for the good in everybody. Trouble is, people tend to take advantage of it. I guess I should be jaded by now, but think maybe I’ll find a lady one day who is willing to do the same and wants a relationship that will last.

She said a few weeks ago that she knew she would regret leaving me…like several other ex-girlfriends who find out the grass is rotten on the other side and then want me back. Trouble with that is once you’re on the other side, I’m not looking to let you just hop back over the fence and be able to trust my heart with you again. It’s always too late then.

I keep telling myself that THE ONE is out there…somewhere…maybe.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 04:24:05 +0000

What if someone is your FWB for the past 20 yr on & off and he tells you he loves you? Is that lust? He said it several times, 1st time I laughed, second time I said, “What’s love got to do with it”, times after that I didn’t respond. He was drunk, was I supposed to believe him? Or watch his actions cause they speak louder than words.

By: Kat Wilder

Kat Wilder — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 04:08:04 +0000

Brian — So, do Miller Lite ads in general “get” guys? Maybe we should ditch the dating gurus and Cosmo’s advice, and start watching for them! I’ll YouTube it. Thanks.

Don — Well, it isn’t that all of a sudden these women had “issues.” It’s more that we’re on our best behavior in the beginning, and then when we feel we’re at a certain comfort level, we let down our guard and be who we really are. It’s not always pretty, but it’s genuine. Real love is being able to love someone once the issues are laid bare.

As for the V-Day girl, yes, let it go; she’s not right for you because she couldn’t be honest with you. Who wants to be in a relationship with that? Think about it …

Mindy — Yes, the non-verbal ways. Those are actually very telling and, if we gals pay attention, we’d notice guys tell us a lot about how they feel about us silently. We often mess it up for ourselves by asking, when we should be paying attention and believing.

Vincent — thanks for your kind words. Being able to express love to those we care about is important. How nice for you to be able to do that easily, and risk the hurt (which is something we all need to know how to do). As for meeting me … how do you know you haven’t?

Jennie — yeah; great minds think alike, eh?

By: Jenni

Jenni — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 02:32:53 +0000

I pretty much agree with everything that Mindy said. .-= Jenni´s last blog ..Is This Thing On? =-.

By: vincent

vincent — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 23:45:55 +0000

I feel love easily and have no problem saying I love you to a girlfriend or anyone when I feel it. The older I get the more important this is to say it because time is shorter.

The important thing to me is to be authentic in love and everything and expressing authentic feelings is authentic to me.

Also, tts so easy to find girlfriends and friends when you are being authentic that its totally worth any perceived risk. And if they reject me for it, more power to me to understand they feel differently.

I’m glad he returned silence to you because then you knew how he felt and better sooner than later (but sorry it hurt your feelings).

I’ve never found it to be a mistake to say I loved someone (even though I have had pain over it, but not really regret and pain is unavoidable as a human).

For my friends who are girls and attached, I tell them I friend-love them b/c their attachees can get jealous about my free loving words.

Western culture is pretty repressed at dealing with love. Many cultures have many more terms and words for love.

Also my best friend Chandra taught me how I can love people just by meditating on it and sending people loving feelings from my heart in meditation.

I love your column as always and more than ever Kat Wlder. Someday I want to meet you for real.

By: Mike

Mike — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:44:08 +0000

I’ve never been in a relationship that I didn’t say it first. On that note it took me a long time to understand the lust and love difference.

Yes we guys are use to rejection, but sometimes women need to put on the big girl panties and step up to the plate.