I was in the middle of my morning routine — shower, makeup, blow-dry hair, prance around to whatever’s on my iTunes while getting dressed, coffee — when The Kid unexpectedly popped his head into my door.
“Could you please lower that? It’s horrible!”
It was Madonna’s “Like a Prayer.” It was far from horrible. But as I started to hit the volume button on my laptop, something horrible happened.
I flashed a boob at my kid. Accidentally, of course. The towel slipped, and …
He left the room immediately, but I’m pretty sure he spent the rest of day thinking exactly what I was thinking: “Ew!”
I called Sara as soon as I got to work.
“I had the worst morning ever.”
“Did your espresso machine break again?”
“No, this was waaay worse.”
“Are you going to tell me, or turn this into some David Lean multihour epic?”
“I flashed a boob at Trent.”
“By accident. I had a, uh, wardrobe malfunction.”
“So what? He’s breast-fed, for goodness sake. Been there, done that.”
“Yes, but not for like 16 years!”
“There’s nothing wrong with a woman’s nude
body. It’s beautiful. He’ll live.”
I have no doubt he’ll live. And Sara’s right — a woman’s body is beautiful. Well, some are, just
like some men’s bodies are.
But your mother’s body? No one wants to see that nude.
Unless, of course, you’re still young enough to be bathing with her.
So, what about your parent’s love interest? Not too long ago there was a blogosphere ruckus over Hilary Swank’s confession that she’s been au naturel in front of her boyfriend’s 6-year-old son. (Britney Spears did that, too, but they were her own kids, and let’s not forget Tori Spelling has naked pictures of herself in her kids’ bathroom; actually, let’s forget that) Swank’s not a nudist, but she sleeps naked (as do I), and so she’s been in the buff when he’s popped into his dad’s bedroom in the morning.
“He doesn’t look twice. He doesn’t think about it yet,” she said.
Maybe, maybe not. I distinctly remember that was just around the age Trent got really interested in playing doctor …
But switch the sex around — if Swank’s kids (if she has any) saw her boyfriend naked, big deal or not? I think the ruckus would be even bigger. Poor guys; they’re always a fine line away from being pervs.
Honestly, I’m not sure it’s OK to have a girlfriend or boyfriend sleep over when there are young kids around. And maybe it’s fine to be naked in front of your own kids — up to a certain age and depending on gender. A lot of how kids feel about their body comes from how their parents feel about their own, although I don’t think seeing your parents nude will scar you for life. But to be nude in front of a boyfriend’s kids?
Although, really, I think The Kid would be quite happy to see Hilary Swank nude.
Nudity in front of kids, yours or your boy/girlfriend’s — OK or not?
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