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Help! I saw my dad’s girlfriend naked!

Posted on Friday, March 19, 2010 in dating, Parenting, Relationships, Self image, Singles

I was in the middle of my morning routine — shower, makeup, blow-dry hair, prance around to whatever’s on my iTunes while getting dressed, coffee — when The Kid unexpectedly popped his head into my door.

“Could you please lower that? It’s horrible!”

It was Madonna’s “Like a Prayer.” It was far from horrible. But as I started to hit the volume button on my laptop, something horrible happened.

I flashed a boob at my kid. Accidentally, of course. The towel slipped, and …

“Uh …” we said simultaneously, equally
embarrassed.

He left the room immediately, but I’m pretty sure he spent the rest of day thinking exactly what I was thinking: “Ew!”

I called Sara as soon as I got to work.

“I had the worst morning ever.”

“Did your espresso machine break again?”

“No, this was waaay worse.”

“Are you going to tell me, or turn this into some David Lean multihour epic?”

“I flashed a boob at Trent.”

“What?”

“By accident. I had a, uh, wardrobe malfunction.”

“So what? He’s breast-fed, for goodness sake. Been there, done that.”

“Yes, but not for like 16 years!”

“There’s nothing wrong with a woman’s nude
body. It’s beautiful. He’ll live.”

I have no doubt he’ll live. And Sara’s right — a woman’s body is beautiful. Well, some are, just
like some men’s bodies are.

But your mother’s body? No one wants to see that nude.

Unless, of course, you’re still young enough to be bathing with her.

So, what about your parent’s love interest? Not too long ago there was a blogosphere ruckus over Hilary Swank’s confession that she’s been au naturel in front of her boyfriend’s 6-year-old son. (Britney Spears did that, too, but they were her own kids, and let’s not forget Tori Spelling has naked pictures of herself in her kids’ bathroom; actually, let’s forget that) Swank’s not a nudist, but she sleeps naked (as do I), and so she’s been in the buff when he’s popped into his dad’s bedroom in the morning.

“He doesn’t look twice. He doesn’t think about it yet,” she said.

Maybe, maybe not. I distinctly remember that was just around the age Trent got really interested in playing doctor …

But switch the sex around — if Swank’s kids (if she has any) saw her boyfriend naked, big deal or not? I think the ruckus would be even bigger. Poor guys; they’re always a fine line away from being pervs.

Honestly, I’m not sure it’s OK to have a girlfriend or boyfriend sleep over when there are young kids around. And maybe it’s fine to be naked in front of your own kids — up to a certain age and depending on gender. A lot of how kids feel about their body comes from how their parents feel about their own, although I don’t think seeing your parents nude will scar you for life. But to be nude in front of a boyfriend’s kids?

Although, really, I think The Kid would be quite happy to see Hilary Swank nude.

Nudity in front of kids, yours or your boy/girlfriend’s — OK or not?

Photo © morgan capasso – Fotolia.com

Bring on the comments

  1. T
    Twitter: tsquest
    says:

    Hmmmm….

    Well, at our house, its just us girls – my two daughters and myself. We’re naked often. I don’t mind them seeing me naked. Its so perfectly natural that they don’t even blink anymore.

    My BF has a 13 year old son and a 5 year old son. The 13 year old is, well, 13, so I watch everything I wear around him! I’m very aware of budding hormones there. His 5 year old is still a boy too so, no, never been naked around either of them. I also wouldn’t approve of my daughters seeing BF naked either. We’re both very aware of nudity around each other’s children.

    Now, we do sleepover at each other’s homes, obviously. We’re both single parents. We also use the lock on the door. Locks are a great idea.
    .-= T´s last blog ..Different roads, Same Destination =-.

  2. dadshouse
    Twitter: dadshouseblog
    says:

    It’s like that scene from Kramer v. Kramer! I have no desire for my kids to see me naked, or a girlfriend naked. Girlfriends have no desire to be seen naked by my kids. My kids have no desire to see any of us naked. End of story!
    .-= dadshouse´s last blog ..Kids in the Kitchen – WTF? =-.

  3. Nude in front of your own kids is one thing, but in front of your SO’s? Entirely differnt animal – male or female. I say no way.
    .-= Mindy@SingleMomSays´s last blog ..Q & A – The Answers =-.

  4. Ken Iisaka says:

    It’s a big deal only if you make a big deal of it. Human bodies are as natural as they get.

  5. Jenni says:

    I’m with Mindy on this one. If I were in a relationship and it was to the point where he was sleeping over, there would be no nakedness. Even after sex, I would require some clothes to be put back on. You never know when a kid is going to be coming in the room.
    .-= Jenni´s last blog ..‘Just Like You..’ =-.

  6. Edgar says:

    I suppose the answer to this question is related to how comfortable you feel about being nude in general. In my last relationship, my significant other and her two girls (aged 6 and 10 at the time) used to take their clothes off whenever it was appropriate (for example, at the nude section of Manresa State Beach, or at the great nude swimming hole on the American River near Auburn). When I joined the picture, I participated in these activities au naturel, as well.

    With my current significant other, we hang out after dark in the hot tub in the back yard completely naked, but her 17 year-old son is very uptight and never joins us. His choice…

  7. Jim Everson says:

    Heh-heh. Kat sleeps in the nude.

    Uh.

    What were we talking about?

  8. Steve says:

    Scary thread, beautiful picture.

  9. mvgrl says:

    I saw my mom’s bf naked when I was 13, and the image is still implanted in my mind. He later became my Stepfather. He and my mom had the groovy 70′s “free love/naked hot tub parties going on, right outside my bedroom window, nothing like seeing my friends parents in the buff. It grossed me out then.
    My 16 year old daughter gets on my case when i wear skimpy clothes , or God forbid , a Bikini, which I still wear proudly every summer. Otherwise I am very modest around my kids. No bf for me right now, but if he appears, absolutlley no nudie flashes for the kids

  10. VJ says:

    Yes, you’ve likely marked ‘the kid’ for life. He’ll carry that pic around with him until he’s well an old man. But T has some useful things to say here.

    And again, no one should be taking parenting advice from anything anyone in Hollywood’s doing. Really. Bad advice, mainly. Careless, indulgent children, all of them, no matter what age. And those are the largely nice & ‘benign’ folks too! (Almost normal!)

    Oh Yeah, Not too unusual thread, scary pic though. Composition wise etc…

    And sometimes in the morning, it’s simply “Boogie Stop Shuffle” for wake up music, but NPR’s now using it for ‘bumper music’ so it’s like really old. Ditto for Moon Dog’s ‘Bird’s Lament’. So some days ‘Pacific 231′ others ‘The wreck of the old 97′ or something from Cash. Depends. Never too much pop though. Puts me to back to sleep! Cheers, ‘VJ’

  11. Kat Wilder says:

    T — Yes, must be careful around those 13-year-olds! Locks are good things, too. And robes.

    Dads — seems like y’all have it figured out. But I bet if your girlfriend were Megan Fox …

    Ken — this is true. (of course, the way some of us eat, not to mention Botox and fake boobs, we turn them into unnatural things.

    Mindy and Jenni — Count me in.

    Edgar — The 17-year-old may just be experiencing the “ew” factor, which isn’t quite the same as being uptight.

    Jim — ;-)

    Steve — guess we won’t be seeing you at the Nudists Convention 2010, eh?

    mvgrl — yes, isn’t it funny how teenage daughters don’t like it when their moms look sexual? Actually, The Kid used to ask me “why are you wearing that?” too. I think they like it when we wear those elastic band high-waist slacks from WalMart …

    VJ — Parenting advice from celebs? Any advice from celebs is a no-no. They don’t live real lives!