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No, you’re schmoopie!

Posted on Wednesday, February 17, 2010 in Happiness, love, Relationships

Mia and I were about to head off on our bikes for a West Marin ride when her cell phone rang.

“Oh, it’s Rex. I’ve gotta take this, sorry.”

“Sure, no rush.”

I wasn’t really listening in, but it’s such a joy to watch a divorced middle-aged girlfriend so happy to find love again that it’s hard not to want to soak in some of that energy.

“OK, uh-huh, OK. Speak to you later. Love you, pumpkin.”  

“Did you just call him pumpkin?”

“I did!”

“So, what does he call you?”


“Amazing you’re both so fit,” I observed.

“Why, don’t you and Sean have pet names?”

I had to think about it. Not really, except I call him Love because — well, must I explain that? But I have had relationships in the past in which one or the other of us was Baby, Sweetie Pie, Honey or Sugar. In private, because pet names should be kept in the same place that you talk to yourself, hang your “unmentionables” to dry and where you’re not totally embarrassed if you pass gas — home. They are not meant for public display.

But, in the home? Schmoopie away! It’s silly, but relationship experts say pet names are just one of the ways couples keep their communication positive, which means they’re more likely to stay happy longer. (Of course, those cutesy-name-calling relationships of mine are long gone, but whatever.)

Plus, calling someone you’re seeing Babe or Sweetie is a safe way to stay out of trouble if you’re cheating or dating several people at one time; certainly don’t want to let the other guy’s name slip at an inopportune time,  like in the throes of passion or when you’ve run out of toilet paper and you need him to bring you another roll from the closet. (Just don’t let on that you call all your guys Babe; if you’re doling out a nickname, it should at least be personal, don’t you think?)

Nicknames aside, Sean and I do have a love language of sorts — one-liners and catchphrases that are unique to us. He’s a lot of wonderful things, but he’s no Snookums or Honey-Bunny. And, I’m not either, although my perfect pet name according to the Pet Nickname Generator turns out to be Sweetums Hot-Lush Lips.

Hey, that’s kind of catchy ….

  • Do you use pet names?
  • Do you use pet names in public?
  • Does it bother you if others do?
  • What was the best pet name you’ve been called?
  • What was the worst?

Photo © nata_rass –

Bring on the comments

  1. Crissi
    Twitter: Santarosamom

    Honey and babe have always been the constants in any relationship I’ve been in. But the one I’m in now we use darling or dear, mostly because we used those pet names with each other before we even started going out. I’ve got to admit, it warms my heart when he calls me darling. Sweetheart is another. And in our silly moments, honey sweet cheeks, smooshie lips, love muffin, hot ass…. But using them seriously? Nah. The one taboo pet name would have to be “daddy”. He said it once, as in “come to daddy”, and I nearly choked on laughter. Not exactly the way to make me hot…

  2. T
    Twitter: tsquest

    We definitely use nicknames. He calls me Angel mostly. He also throws in ‘punkin’ every now and again. We both call each other ‘babe’. I have numerous nicknames for him depending on the situation. Bear, Honey bear, Lover, Love, my man!

    Its fun, silly, and endearing. In public? Nah, he’s just babe or his name.

    When my ex-husband and I were dating, we called each other ‘honey’ without even realizing we did that. My sister pointed it out to us after spending some time around us.

    I used to call my ex Pookie or Studmuffin when we were dating.

    Heh. Those were the cutesy names…
    .-= T´s last blog ..What’s keeping me warm this winter =-.

  3. Dan says:

    It gave me “Sweetums Chocolate Kisses-Tiger Twinkies.”



    Just, no.
    .-= Dan´s last blog ..Proud To Be a Nerd… =-.

  4. Kat Wilder says:

    Crissi — Oh, yes — “daddy.” Guys, don’t ever ask a woman to call you daddy. It’s just so … creepy.

    T — I totally forgot about Studmuffin; I used to call Ryan that. Funny thing — he really wasn’t!

    Dan — Oh dear! Not even the “Tiger” part works anymore!

  5. Wombat
    Twitter: kissnblog

    I think there’s something sexy about formality with these things…like Mrs Wilder, for example.
    .-= Wombat´s last blog ..Friday Fluffer – The Mangagement Ring =-.

  6. Dan says:

    “I think there’s something sexy about formality with these things…like Mrs Wilder, for example.”


    A formal but genteel warmth that bespeaks sophistication, intelligence, and old-school courtly charm, is sooooo incredibly sexy.

    Wouldn’t you concur, Madamoiselle Wilder?
    .-= Dan´s last blog ..Proud To Be a Nerd… =-.

  7. Kat Wilder says:

    Wombat et Dan — Madamoiselle est grand, Mrs. est mauvais!

  8. Dan says:

    C’est tres vrai, m’amour…
    .-= Dan´s last blog ..Proud To Be a Nerd… =-.

  9. Single Mom Seeking
    Twitter: singlemomseekin

    Pet Nickname Generator? Oh, boy, I’ve got to check that one out… He calls me “Love” and um, some other private names… I call him “My Hot Man.”