A few years ago, when one of those celebrity homemade porn tapes was making the Internet rounds, I somehow found myself watching one.
Oh, don’t be so surprised: As much as I like porn,
I don’t spend a lot of time actually watching it.
So the actress (whose name escapes me) was giving her guy a blowjob and I was blown away — it was the worst blowjob I’d ever seen! Not that I’ve seen too many of them in person — still, I’ve seen my share — but she had no style or variation. It was boring! Sure, the guy looked pretty happy; maybe he just didn’t know better. Or maybe he was just grateful to get one from her.
Or maybe he’s one of those people who thinks any blowjob is better than no blowjob, or that there’s no such thing as a bad blowjob, there’re just better blowjobs. (although, let’s not forget the dreaded dry blowjobs …)
Anyway, I kept thinking — I give better blowjobs than that.!
Because I do (and don’t ask me how I know …)
But it made me think about sex (well, I’m always thinking about sex, so that’s a no-brainer) — if you don’t watch porn, go to sex parties or engage in threesomes and you’re not a peeping tom, how do you ever measure up your sexual techniques? How do you know if you’re good in bed?
Your partner may be waking up the neighbors with her screaming or gouging your back with her nails or moaning, “yes, yes, YES!” — and it could all be a show, you know?
Porn can teach you some things, but it’s still a “show.” I mean, how many of us are going to do the double action — you know, front door and, uh, back? And forget about sex advice from the “experts,” which is often ridiculous.We know a lot more about sex, thankfully, but a lot of us worry if we’re “good” at it.
If you have a trusting relationship with your partner, you can ask or tell and feel pretty confident that you’re hearing the truth. But there’re always ways to be better, and you have to learn that — and books can only go so far.
I think that’s why I think amateur porn is so popular — it’s real people having real sex. They look like us, more or less.
So, how do you know if you’re good in bed?